This Song is Dedicated To

Conference: The Heart Shaping Mom

2011-12-06T13:24:00.001-06:00

If you haven't discovered this blog, you need to visit it asap. Since most of you reading this are moms (or soon-to-be moms), this blog will encourage you in walking with Jesus as a mother.

I Take Joy

Click the link. Seriously, click the link.

Sally Clarkson is hosting a Mom Heart Conference on February 17-18th in Irving. I'd highly encourage you to attend. Make a weekend of it - meet with God and renew your mothering heart - and you might be surprised how 24 hours away will do you some good.

Let me know if you plan on going and we'll see you there!

Conference Details

(click for speaker information, schedule, and hotel info)

OAMC, Part 2

2011-11-20T12:54:00.001-06:00

Here's a brief overview of what I did these past few days, how much I spent, and what it produced. I am very, very happy with the process! The actual evaluation will come in a month, when we see if the freezing process created good food to eat.

Thursday: I started at Costco with weekly ad prices from other stores so I could make the best decision and save the most money. Walmart was great, too, and I spent significantly less there than I had planned. Cleaned the kitchen in anticipation of prep time.

Friday: I had some extra time and energy so I decided to start prep. It turned into just a few hours and resulted in several items for the freezer. I made all the beef dishes, pasta dishes, and potatoes. Cleaned as I went and still had a clean kitchen when Brad got home from work. (Fail: I didn't plan for dinner that night and since everything I made was still freezing, we just got a rotisserie chicken from the store. Next time, I need to have a plan for dinner on the nights I'm prepping.)

Saturday: I purchased the chicken from Sprouts and was able to cook most of the breasts. Chopped chicken and shredded chicken were the two types I needed so I baked them in the oven, about 6-8 breasts at a time. Made a couple dishes that day.

Sunday: I finished up a couple chicken dishes, separated the beef stew meat and mixed with veggies and seasoning. Working now on putting together a final list of what's in the freezer.

Aside from your normal kitchen items like salt, pepper, butter, etc. and storage items like pans, freezer bags, and aluminum foil, here's the breakdown of everything I purchased:

Walmart: $69.85

Costco: $25.59

Sprouts: $28.17

Rosas (tortillas): $2.70

Total: $126.31

Freezer Meals in 9x9 pans:
(2) Poppyseed Chicken
(2) Husband's Delight
(2) Sour Cream & Chicken Enchiladas
(4) Twice-Baked Potatoes (actually made 8)
Freezer Meals in Gallon Bags:
(2) Taco Meat
(2) Tomato Cream Sauce
(1) Spaghetti Sauce
(1) Chicken & Bacon (for the Crescent Ring)
(2) Chicken (for fried rice)
(2) Mushroom Beef Stew
(1) Fish Tacos
(1) Honey Sauced Chicken
(1) Chicken Tortilla Soup
(1) Ground beef for meatloaf

That's 24 meals! My purchases also included most of the sides (white rice, fettucini for Tomato Cream Sauce, crescent rolls, and veggies for the slow cooker dishes.)

Price per meal: $5.26

Price per meal per person: $1.32

I am one happy mama!

Can you believe that's 24 main dishes?!

OAMC, Part 1

2011-11-17T13:11:00.001-06:00

I began a little experiment yesterday and thought I would take a few minutes throughout the process and share what I'm doing for Once-A-Month Cooking or OAMC. A few things got me here so here's a very brief background:

Grocery budget. Food prices have increased radically over the past three years and so have my children's appetites. It occurred to me that if I spend a mere $15 for dinner each night, our monthly budget JUST FOR DINNER would be roughly $450. Add in lunch, breakfast, and other home items and that's a serious amount of money.

My Kitchen. I have been feeling like all I do (or all I watch my husband do) is clean dishes. Breakfast, lunch, and dinner, times four people plus pots, pans, and other prep items = Kitchen Chaos. Time to simplify.

Through some random blogs and weekly newsletters, I heard about OAMC and Freezer Cooking and it piqued my interest. So here's what I've done:

1. Research. My two resources are "Frozen Assets: Cook for a Day, Eat for a Month" with Deborah Taylor-Hough and find more here on the Facebook page. Super detailed and contains the most practical advice, although I am using the first edition from the library and the updated one is probably better.

Secondly, Money Saving Mom has a Guide to Freezer Cooking that I got for free. I didn't find it nearly as helpful as Frozen Assets but it confirmed the process.

2. Calendar. I started with November 21st and my meal plan will carry through December 18th. I worked in eating out dinner one night per week (see Eating Out Bargains below) and planned Sunday for leftovers. Minus two days for Thanksgiving and its leftovers, left me with a need for 16-17 dinners.

Once committing, I feel there are two paths you can take: use your weekly ads and create a menu plan based on the week's best deals, including recent coupons. Or, you can do what I did, start with a menu and then use grocery ads to find the best prices.

3. Menu. Because it's my first time, I took dishes that I can make by memory and know my family loves. (I'll get more adventurous as I become more experienced.) Here's my menu:

Pasta with Tomato Cream Sauce

FROZEN

Poppyseed Chicken (2)

Husband's Delight (2)

Pasta w/Tomato Cream Sauce (2)

Chicken Enchiladas (2)

Twice Baked Potatoes (2)

Tacos (2)

CROCK-POT

Chicken Bacon Crescent Ring

Mushroom Beef Stew (1)

Chicken Tortilla Soup (1)

Honey-sauced Chicken (1)

MAKE-READY

(best fresh, not frozen)

Fish Tacos (1)

Chicken Bacon Crescent Ring (1)

Parmesan Chicken Sausage (1)

Chicken or Shrimp Fried Rice (1)

Salad with Twice-Baked Potatoes

That's 19 meals, which exceeds my needs so I can be ready if we need to take a family a meal or have guests for dinner. Side note: all dishes will be prepared in a 8x8 or 9x9, rather than 9x13.

4. Shopping List. This was so tedious. You basically get every recipe and write down how much you need. My final list included things like six onions, 30 chicken breasts, 70 oz of tomato sauce, etc. and was extremely long. (Make a rough-draft list first, check your pantry/fridge/freezer, and cross off items you already have. Make a new list for the store.) Make sure you have the right pans and bags for freezing items, too.

5. Shop. I am not interested in going around town with three kids, so I picked two places to shop: Costco for bulk and Walmart for price-matching. Jot down prices you want to compare or bring your price-match list. I just returned from Costco where I got bigger items (5 lbs frozen lean ground beef, ten pounds of tomato sauce, and freezer bags.) One exception: Sprouts is having a sale on chicken for $1.77/lb so I'll get chicken from there.

6. House Prep. The other thing I'm already loving about this process is how it's forcing me to clean. I've already cleaned out my refrigerator and freezer. I found more than 10 storage containers and ample amounts of mold. ;-) I wiped surfaces clean and rearranged. I kinda like the idea of this informal schedule to clean the fridge.

So tonight I make the trip to Walmart, sans kiddos, ready to price match and coupon. Tomorrow I will prep just the meats (ground beef and chicken) and chop or shred a few items. Saturday is the big day! I'll keep you posted! Look for Part 2 next week.

Eating Out Bargains

1. Chick-Fil-A Family Night: The Benbrook and Cityview CFA's each have family night on Tuesday, where you get a free kid's meal with each adult combo. We can eat for approximately $12.00. Awesome. $3/person.

2. Palio's: Wednesday nights at the Palio's Pizza Cafe on Bryant Irvin is BOGO: buy one pizza, get the second one for FREE. I order two pizzas for 5:15pm pick up and Brad gets them on his way home. Our kids love these pizzas so we get two of their large specialty pizzas for $15.99 plus tax. $4/person.

3. Spring Creek BBQ: Each month the Valpack coupon packet contains a Buy One Rib Dinner, Get One Free coupon. It works for any of their dinners (turkey, brisket, chicken, etc.), which range from $9-12. We usually get the combo so the kids can share the meat and we load up on veggies (all you can eat) and supplement with their hot bread. I'm a sucker for sweet tea so with drinks, we usually spend $15-17. Again, about $4/person.

Set Hope Aside

2011-10-13T13:38:00.000-05:00

This post is for my sweet, beautiful, and lively single friends. I know some of you will roll your eyes and dismiss my words but I hope for a moment you would let me, even as a married woman, speak to your heart.

I laid in bed last night and remembered the many, many times my heart just groaned out of my chest for a husband. I remember driving home from times with friends and crying from the loneliness and the often hopeless desire to have someone show interest in me. Some days it wasn't even about marriage as much as it was a fierce longing for an esteemed man to just notice anything about me. All that to say, I haven't forgotten those emotions and they were just as real and valid in my early twenties as some of you in your early thirties. I know your heart often aches with unspeakable pain, and I know you often struggle with disappointment, insecurity, and fear.

Here is what I want to whisper to your soul, with a breath of fresh reality and challenge: setting hope for the future aside, are you truly thankful for your present? There is often confusion in the single woman's heart between the very different hope and thankfulness in singleness. We often have to pair our joy or gratitude today with hope, because it makes our heart leap at a promise of change. But thankfulness is a deep acceptance of the current circumstance, no matter how frustrating or disappointing. Thankfulness places a great and solid footing in the place where your boundary lines fall. And the greatest beat of your heart is for the reality of Jesus' presence and pursuit in your life. His absolutely unbelievable resolve at being your greatest treasure, love, and obsession.

"I say to the Lord, 'You are my Lord; apart from you I have no good thing.' ... Lord, you alone are my portion and my cup; you make my lot secure. The boundary lines have fallen for me in pleasant places...Therefore my heart is glad and my tongue rejoices." Psalm 16:2, 5, 9

When these words take healthy root in our hearts and minds and when we nourish this text, we see the fruit in our thoughts and emotions. We joyfully look at our circumstances as from the Lord, ordained by His sovereign nature, and believe that today is the best God has for us.

Part of me wants to tell you that this mindset will be of the utmost attraction to the opposite sex. Or that as soon as you let this take root, just when you least expect it, Mr. Right will come bursting through your front door with a diamond ring. But depth in thankfulness is so much more for the sake of your character and well-being. It will shape your thoughts and movements with a genuine peace that will rock your world, with or without a man. And it will wipe that silly "are you my husband?" look off your face. ;-)

In my final years of being single, I discovered this little verse in Proverbs 31 that revolutionized my life. Verse 12 says the wife of noble character "brings [her husband] good, not harm, all the days of her life." All the days of her life. It doesn't say the days of her married life or the days starting when she meets her future husband. In the years, months and weeks of singleness and loneliness (or not-so-loneliness), she is doing good to her husband by honoring his life and character by walking in the beautiful and rare thankfulness that springs from a mind saturated with truth.

My prayer for you, as a single woman, is that you would choose thankfulness and gratefulness today, in this moment, and the moments that follow. May you have victory with your emotions and thoughts, may you step out from the shadows of bitterness, and may you flourish in singleness.

Home Schooling Part 1: The Myths & FAQs

2011-09-29T11:24:00.000-05:00

Since we began researching home schooling three years ago, I have been asked lots of questions by moms (and dads) and have been in many conversations about the issue of education. The topic of home schooling brings up a lot of fears and puzzlement in the hearts of parents, which makes my heart sad. In an effort to encourage those of you who have young children, I want to start a blog series to peel back the layers of time, prayer, and research that have gone into our decision.

Let's start with the most frequently asked questions & concerns:

1. What about socialization?

This question makes me laugh just writing it. Take a minute and think about a classroom, with 25-30 kids, and one teacher. Pupils sitting "neatly" in their seats, being told to hush and sit still, boys being told to not be boys. Peer-to-peer interaction only takes place UNsupervised with kids who don't necessarily come from homes that value your values. Your child will become like THEM, not vice versa. Children need to be taught how to interact with adults by you and your spouse (think life-long lessons here). Moms are the gatekeeper to what their child learns and she relinquishes most of this right when she puts them in public school.

2. Don't you just need a break from your kids?

Yes. Absolutely. And there is a very big part of me that dies because I don't get to imagine sending all my kids off on a school bus at 7:30 in the morning and not have them return until 4:00pm. But really, when I set aside my selfish heart, I can't imagine how that would make me a better mom. The cost of how their little minds process the break in relationship is simply not worth the reality of public schooling my children.

Surprising enough, the minimal structure has actually helped me find some peace of mind. My kids are no longer bored, Zoë thrives at the table while she works, and begs for more. It's given me some breathing room, the TV is on waaaay less, and we have something to look forward to the next morning, rather than dreading the next day's long hours.

3. How will you find the time to keep your house clean, do laundry, and cook?

Let me tell you a little secret. (This comes down to philosophy of home schooling.) On our busiest day, we will spend 90 minutes home schooling. Yep, that's it. 45 minutes encompasses math (20), reading(20), and handwriting(5). And another 45 minutes reading literature on the couch in our pjs. Afternoons are spent outside with nature journals on their own self-guided fun.

Using textbooks, a school's curriculum, and spending hours and hours at the table becomes school at home and ventures out of the home schooling category. This was the moment that tipped the scales for me because I simply could not imagine giving up 4-6 hours of my day to sit instructing, marking errors, and writing on a chalkboard.

At Carole Joy Seid's seminar this past weekend, she said something that spoke further to this issue. Paraphrased: Mommy's job is not to play with her kids, it is to work. There is nothing more important than modeling a strong work ethic and instilling that into my children. If my kids want to hang out with me, they can help load the dishes, fold the laundry, or stir the pancake mix. Of course, I play with and read to them but that is not my primary responsibility in our home; it is not to entertain them and make sure they're happy. Carole also said their future spouses will thank me for it one day...again, the life-long lessons developing in their hearts.

4. What's wrong with public school?

Briefly, the PBS website refers to universal education for all citizens as "America's noble experiment." It wasn't all that long ago that children were educated by tutors & governesses from within the home.

This was particularly interesting to me, emphasis added, also taken from the PBS site listed above:

In the nineteenth century, the American classroom was sparsely decorated and furnished. School design was simple, expressing the frugality of a largely rural, agricultural economy. Rural communities had few resources to expend on education, and there was a lack of commercially available products for schools. Often the school would be open only for a few months of the year, usually when children were not needed to work at home or on the farm.

In the one-room schoolhouse sat students of all ages and abilities. The sole teacher was usually an unmarried woman; sometimes the students were older than the teacher. Using only the most basic resources — slate, chalk, and a few books — teaching and learning consisted mainly of literacy, penmanship, arithmetic, and “good manners.” Recitation, drilling, and oral quizzes at the end of the day were the norm in classrooms across America.

(Doesn't that list of subjects sound familiar? Look at our schedule under #3 above.) Today, schools are a very different place and it only takes watching the evening news for five minutes to see the problems: funding, classroom size, character of teachers, and bullying. The public school system is a very broken place and, simply put, doesn't deserve my children.

5. Aren't Christians supposed to reach their community?

To sacrifice the well-being, training, and character of our children for the sake of a religious notion, based on nothing or loose theology at best, is blasphemous. We do not ask our children to evangelize their friends in a setting apart from us until their theology is sound. Families are asked to reach families, and this can be done best outside a public school, while running errands with mom and interacting with people at the grocery story or local park. Some of our family's most beautiful gospel-moments have happened while we're out and about during the day.

~~~~~~

Beyond preference, I am convinced and convicted that all moms can home school their children. We take things one day at a time around here, and look just a few months ahead, only lesson planning for the semester. God gives us grace for the place where we're standing today, and He'll give us grace for the field tomorrow. If you have questions or need some encouragement in your own process, please don't hesitate to ask away (comment below).

Oh the Joys: Delighting in Teaching my Child(ren)

2011-09-12T14:48:00.000-05:00

Zoë turned six just 13 days ago and we began to home school her today. We don't do school at home, we home school. We follow the great wisdom of Carol Joy Seid, Gladys Hunt, and Raymond S. and Dorothy N. Moore. We believe that less is more...less time, less subjects, and less pressure. More play, more creativity, and more nature.

We have long been on the journey with preparing for our children's education. It has indeed been a long and arduous one, with ups and downs, backs and forths, and prayer on steroids. (Let me just say, it is one thing to research and ponder your child's education but that process is a mere prelude to actually educating your child.)

So today continues that journey and it started with peace and a sense of things falling into all the right places. Some day I'll put some more detail into how we've spent the past three months getting ready for today. For now, here are pictures of the big girl on her first day of school.

With Daddy before he heads to work

"First Day of School 2011-2012"

Our "fun" book with wipe-off marker time

Mostly focusing on *great* books

Must-haves for Mom: coffee, lesson plans, and cute pens!

Giving Up Your "Birthing Right"

2011-09-06T14:27:00.004-05:00

I read a really good blog this morning that described an observer's sorrow at a mom's last minute "emergency" c-section because the induction process didn't work. I appreciated the writer's heart and definitely agree with her frustration at the process but I feel like there's a finger being pointed in the wrong direction.

It wasn't all that long ago that men and women treated healthcare very differently. Doctors made house calls. Husbands paid for the care and medicine out of their own pockets. And care was only summoned in the event of emergencies. "Go fetch the doctor, John Henry is cut his arm off under the donkey plow." You get the picture.

Things are very, very different today. I haven't studied the journey of healthcare and how it's affected the way women approach carrying and having babies but isn't it time that women took responsibility for their own ignorance? Maybe it's just easier to blame the doctors (the "enemy" in some people's perspective) instead of rightfully suggesting that women need to know more about their options. I don't know the statistics but I wonder wow many c-sections are performed because 1. Mama doesn't take care of herself and has health issues, forcing a c-section, or 2. Mrs. Mama has a deadline and is just plain tired of being pregnant and ~~requests~~ ~~insists on~~ demands being induced. Maybe it's not just the doctors' fault that birthing is no longer a regular part of life, but now considered a medical issue. (Caveat: Obviously there are very good reasons for c-sections and I'm thankful for the healthy babies that result. I am not suggesting all c-sections are unnecessary, just a lot of them. But I'm not a doctor nor a medical researcher so if you disagree, think of me as just plain dumb.)

There's this little story in Genesis 25 where Esau, hungry and impatient, gives up his birth right (inheritance) to his twin brother, Jacob. It was a decision made out of feeling & ignorance/misinformation ("I'm hungry. I must eat now and this is the only way to get food.") rather than information & truth ("I'm hungry. But I can wait, I will not starve and can find food from another source.") I haven't heard many teachings in the church about this story but I think there's a general consensus that Esau was the idiot for giving away what was his, and not Jacob, for taking what wasn't his. What a sad, sad ending.

I guess I'd just like to see the "finger" pointed at women, too, rather than condemning the collective of OBs. And I tend to have strong opinions about things like this, usually considered counter- or anti-cultural and perceived as abnormal. So be it. But I'm a mama who has managed to keep possession of her "birthing rights" and that makes me a happy mama.

Proverbs 31

2011-07-28T14:06:00.002-05:00

Do you know what I like most about the woman described in Proverbs 31?

She didn't write those words about herself.

I've been meditating lately on what it takes to be a godly woman, wife, and mother. I've been pushing deep into my character and accepting the refining that God is taking me through. Nothing helps me see my sin better than His word, the Bible. Most Christians (both men & women) consider the wife described by the king in Proverbs 31 (as advised by his mother) as the end-all, be-all of women. She was a hard worker, she was faithful and sacrificing, she was wise, and she was loved and honored by her husband and her children.

And she was humble. She didn't write about herself or set up a forum discussing her strengths and projects, though I'm sure her blog would have been fabulous. She didn't stand on her roof to declare every little thought, though her tweets might have been fascinating. She knew her audience: her God, her husband, and her children. And she was probably just too busy, right?!

There is a part of me that wishes she had penned the verses because I'm sure we would have seen a much messier perspective, as she shares her struggles and bad days, the failures and the hiccups. But what stands the test of time and what impresses the heart of her husband is the glorious and indomitable spirit to work and manage, with frugality, generosity and a heart of joy. Those traits are birthed out of a deep groaning and a constant reminder: my life is not my own. My life is not my own. The ultimate act of humility is to embrace that our lives as moms and wives are not our own.

Breathe deep the air of humility, dear friend, and you will be filled with life.

Abortion, Part 2: The Solution

2011-06-01T15:52:00.006-05:00

Texas recently passed a bill that will require a woman to have a sonogram before she receives an abortion. At least 24 hours before the procedure, she'll be required to hear a description of the baby, making sure she "understands what an abortion is." Read more details here. (Before you read the rest of this post, please understand that I am pro-life. In every circumstance and for every woman. Conservative on this issue is an understatement for me.)

So here's my problem with this band-aid fix to a hemorrhaging wound: abortion is not a political issue. It's not a conservative issue. It's not an issue of human rights or the definition of life and when it begins. Abortion is not an issue because of the lack of adoption or because Christians need a cute bumper sticker.

Abortion is an issue of motherhood.

The Guttmacher Institute published a report in 2008 that has probably gone unnoticed by most conservatives. I say this because our methods would change if we (as in Christians and pro-lifers) read and understood this information. You can download that file here and read for yourself some of the statistics that confounded me:

61% of women who have an abortion already have children.

Something must have happened in the "collective mind of women" when Roe v. Wade passed in 1973. When women began believing they didn't have to be mothers, they naturally concluded they couldn't and shouldn't be mothers. The feminist movement, in its veiled attempts to gender-neutralize and falsely empower, has actually completely torn down our confidence in one of our greatest strengths: mothering. So began the downward spiral: a staircase leading us to doubt every woman's God-given ability to be a mom. (Of course, here I refer to the emotional and mental ability, not the physiological.)

If every woman was given the encouragement that being a mother is one of the greatest ways to spend her time, efforts, and talents, she would not be afraid to be a mom. If we would put our arms around the young girls contemplating an abortion and help them be good mothers, they wouldn't be afraid of the change a'coming.

If resources were put into helping moms be good moms and those resources were easily accessible, women would believe that being a mom is actually great. If we supported teenage moms and rewarded their strength and resolve, ignoring their age, they would be great (young) mothers. If we brought attention to the challenges that mothers with small children face, when an unexpected positive plus sign appears after a late cycle, and surround one another with love and truth, moms would more quickly dismiss the fear of having more children.

Like I shared in Abortion, Part 1, I've become quite passionate about helping moms who already have children overcome the temptation to have an abortion. I am passionate about helping moms believe they can be great mothers and being one among many who throw themselves at the mercy of God as He equips us.

Stop condemning.

Stop writing your local politicians.

Stop shouting your theology on when life begins.

And start loving women, mothers or not.

So here's the sign I would hold if I stood outside a Planned Parenthood clinic. Will you join me and hold this sign up for women around the world?

Abortion, Part 1: My Story

2011-05-23T14:00:00.004-05:00

When we got married, Brad and I had planned to wait five years before having children. Even that was a big leap for me; I was planning on not becoming a mother. Ever. Brad was only 22, we didn’t have much money and there were outside pressures to wait, too. We had a “smart” plan and that meant waiting a long time before expanding our family. Or so we thought.

A few months into marriage we were concerned that I had become pregnant and miscarried while taking (and because of) birth control pills. It was a reeling event for us and sent us to our knees one afternoon. I will never forget that day. Brad heard the Lord about us not using any form of birth control and the word “faith.” I stopped taking the pill and we had a positive pregnancy test just a couple months later. Enter Zoë Faith Thompson on August 30, 2005, just thirteen months after our wedding.

Fast forward to May 23, 2010: a positive pregnancy test! I felt great for almost seven weeks and then the chaos began. Our children started hitting some rough patches in their personalities/character/obedience. I felt horrible – all day and every day – and spent my entire life laying on the couch or in bed, barely able to take care of dirty diapers and lunch time. Our house was held together by strands of cleaning and maintenance only because my husband carried the extra weight. My kids watched hours and hours of television daily. It was a miserable existence for everyone in our house.

To make matters worse, something dark began creeping into the crevices of my mind. I started regretting the pregnancy. I started despising the timing of a third child and the responsibility it would require. I couldn’t believe our lapse in judgment when the two kids in my house were already taxing my everything. I started hoping that I would miscarry. Please, just start cramping and bleeding. Make this stop. I scheduled my first OB appointment but here’s the honest truth: I wanted to get an abortion and tell my husband I had miscarried. Here I was, wondering where to find the closest Planned Parenthood clinic, when I could be the voice of the pro-life movement. I had zero excitement about this baby, no love, no nothin’ for this thing inside me. It was a dark, dark place.

When we had some questionable blood work come back (read those details here), I was sure that my feelings, or lack thereof, had been a type of protection or guard against becoming too attached to a baby we were going to lose anyway. The specialist recommended starting an anti-depressant to cope with my emotions but we declined. The ultrasound showed a healthy baby but after buying dresses with frills and picking a girl’s name, and to add to my depressive state, we were told it was a boy. Oh boy.

Months went by, then breakthrough. Teeny, tiny breakthrough.

I heard the gentle voice of God in one of the most audible ways I’ve ever heard Him. This baby boy would be for my heart and my joy. I heard The Voice, and the light broke through but I still lingered in the shadows. I held onto that line of truth with the most desperate hope imaginable. I had to remind myself, repeating it over and over and over. I constantly struggled at even acceptance at having this child. It wasn’t until Tucker was in my arms that I felt love for him.

Today marks the one year anniversary of that positive pregnancy test and a journey that has changed me as a mom and as a woman. It took a long, long time but the love I now have for Tucker is overwhelming at moments and I can't imagine my life without his chubby little cheeks and gummy grin. He is beyond a blessing in my life, despite the sacrifices of my schedule, body, and mental capacities. He was, and is, and will always be worth it.

This post is for the women who have suffered in silence with this issue. My heart extends to the women out there who struggle with the reality of having more children, when regret and sorrow take root, and when a life, once wanted, is suddenly the inconvenience of a lifetime. Press on, moms, you will have the strength, capacity, love, and grace you need for all your children.

Trump's Parenting Advice?!

2011-05-17T10:54:00.003-05:00

Donald Trump on how to be a better parent? Yes, and in the most unconventional way.

Brad and I have been enjoying Celebrity Apprentice so it was quite intriguing when he talked about running for president. Perplexed by this entertaining businessman and wondering if he could do our nation some good, I checked out one of his books from the local library. Think Like a Champion: An Informal Education in Business and Life is a self-help book on success, geared toward college graduates or persons starting in the business world. I was reading to get a glimpse into his thoughts on life and learn a little more about his philosophies. Little did I know it would revolutionize my parenting. Halfway through one of the chapters (page 65 to be exact), I paused and realized I would never approach parenting the same:

Have the Right Mindset for the Job

"When I think of work, I often see it as problem solving. I've said before that if you don't have problems, then either you're pretending not to see something or you don't run your own business. Problems come with the territory, and they should never surprise you. You should expect them.

Even if you work for someone else, it's a good idea to expect problems and to be ready for them. To me it's a realistic approach. No matter how hard you work, there are times that things happen that are out of our control. Keep your eyes on your ideals as well as reality. That's what being prepared really means."

As I read this, I felt like the final twist of my mommy-Rubik's cube popped into alignment. Expect problems.

Somewhere in the Christian community, we began believing that to follow God and be a good parent meant avoiding problems with your kids. We worked ourselves into thinking that if we just pray hard enough and follow God's plan for parenting, we will sidestep the pitfalls. Walk in the fruit of the Spirit? So will your kids! Pray every day for their salvation? They will surely be saved! Pray every moment for a serene labor & delivery? It must come to pass!! My oh my, how we put such confidence in our abilities and don't prepare for problems. We live in a broken world, people.

I was shocked when my 18-month-old daughter hit the "terrible two's" about six months before scheduled. (Read that story here.) She was strong-willed and stubborn, and I was not ready for the early onset of her roller-coaster emotions and toddler defiance. Four years later, I was shocked again when, after several months of peace and consistency, Zoe hit another imbalance of discontent and malaise. Brad and I wondered where we had gone wrong; had we loosened the reigns of consistency and discipline?

I had not expected problems so I didn't prepare for them. I made so many assumptions and put so much pride in my own abilities (after all, people said we would be great parents!), that I didn't do my homework and prepare for the "next" season of life. And the next and the next. It wasn't until the crisis hit, that I discovered tools that would have prepared me for these times with our kids. I wish I had read this article when Zoë was 12 months old, and not close to six years. It would have shifted my thinking from avoiding the problems to preparing for them.

I'm already looking for great resources on the topic of school-aged kids, sibling rivalries, and raising brothers. I'm thinking about educating my boys and how it will vary from educating my daughter. I'll be checking out all the books on what happens in a marriage after ten years (we're almost at seven!) and not drown in the crisis of a moment. Even with all that help, I won't handle everything perfectly but at least I'll not be surprised when "it" happens.

Don't let your human ideals & expectations, laden with pride, lead you into blindness. Choose to see with eyes of faith - pray for the miracles to break through into your home and relationships - and ask for divine wisdom every step of the way. But prepare yourself - educate yourself - so you're ready when, and not if, the problems happen.

Thanks, Mr. Trump. Your check is in the mail.

Truth Investments

2011-04-25T12:51:00.003-05:00

Truth is one of the few investments we can make that has a guaranteed return.

Though we haven't done it perfectly, Brad and I committed early in our parenting years to tell the truth. We tell the truth to our kids because we believe it is an investment. An investment into our relationship with our kids and most importantly: our character before God. We have found (and find it increasingly difficult) that telling your kids the truth is counter-cultural in the most extravagant of ways. Here's what I mean - take a look at these common examples:

Santa Claus & the Tooth Fairy. (Leading our children to believe in something that isn't real.)
The bug (or fish or hamster) is 'sleeping'. (Altering the truth to "protect" our kids from the topic of death.)
Fairy tales & stories that include magic, spells, etc. (Have you watch any recent episodes of Dora the Explorer lately?)
Letting our kids believe they are "good." (God says there is no one good, Romans 3:10)

Kids think and absorb in concrete details. If they see repeated images, stories, and characters, they can't distinguish between fact & fiction. For example, my kids have recently asked "Will that tiger talk?" when we go to the zoo. They see a show that portrays a cartoon tiger talking and they assume tigers can talk. Leading up to Easter, Zoë and I were talking about Jesus coming alive after dying on the cross and she said "The angel came and made a spell to make Him come alive." Oh boy. She is processing the difference between miracles and magic. (P.S. Both exist and there's a big difference.)

We don't let our kids believe that Santa is real because I want them to believe me when I talk about Jesus. (He is the well-lit way.) I don't avoid death conversations because they must understand the truth about life AND death from me, not from a false source. And the more I convince my kids that they are "good," they less they will understand their great need for a Savior King.

Aside from these tangible reasons that will help our children grow with healthy perspectives and never have to question what Mom & Dad say, I've place a VERY high value on my integrity. My integrity is not worth the value of a white lie, so I refuse to sell it for such little cost. It's not worth the fun of Santa or the Tooth Fairy, so I refuse to compromise.

It's hard to tell the truth. I mean, it would be so much easier to go with the flow when it comes to holidays and their respective characters. It would be simpler to say "the fish is going to wake up" than talk about the complicated process of death. And it would be so much more fun to watch all the cartoons and movies that are geared toward my preschoolers. Don't get me wrong, we have failed when it's inconvenient. But something inside of me believes that there is going to come a moment when my children will decide if they believe me and it.will.matter. It will be more important than Santa and his fluffy white beard. It will be when they test the concrete brick support of my commitment to them and the faith that sustains their family. Every sacrifice will seem like pennies compared to the vast richness of Truth's treasure. Truth will be the fabric that covers my children, my husband, and our legacy.

94¢ FUN(fetti)

2011-04-10T08:10:00.010-05:00

Brad worked late one night last week so I decided to help occupy our evening with some cupcake decorating. It's always helpful when local grocers support my efforts with a sale! Here are a few pictures from our night:

Silicone muffin cups are a must!

Is there anything better than a funfetti cupcake?!

(Yes. This face.)

Quick chat with Grandma.

Sprinkles. Sprinkles. Sprinkles.

Smushy smushy.

Frosting anyone?

Sweet siblings.

(Yes, that is a knife he's holding.)

Yummo.

Hope for this Mama

2011-03-17T12:30:00.004-05:00

I've recently discovered Brooke Fraser and I love her. I mean, I love her heart, song-writing skills, and the gospel that draws me close when I listen to her music. I have had such a hard time lately with mothering and this song is healing my heart, giving me hope, and proclaiming truth when I'm blind. Think of these lyrics as you journey through your perspective as a mom.

Shadowfeet (from her Albertine album)

Walking, stumbling on these shadowfeet

toward home, a land that i've never seen

I am changing: less and less asleep

made of different stuff than when I began

and I have sensed it all along

Fast approaching is the day

[CHORUS]

When the world has fallen out from under me

I'll be found in you, still standing

When the sky rolls up and mountains fall on their knees

When time and space are through

I'll be found in you

There's distraction buzzing in my head

saying in the shadows it's easier to stay

But I've heard rumours of true reality

Whispers of a well-lit way

[CHORUS]

You make all things new

[CHORUS]

[CHORUS 2]

When the world has fallen out from under me

I'll be found in you, still standing

Every fear and accusation under my feet

When time and space are through

I'll be found in you

The 10pm Nap

2011-03-10T10:29:00.002-06:00

...and other things you didn't know about having a newborn.

I'm continually amazed at the surprises that await new moms. Several of my friends are having babies lately and many of our conversations (though few and far between while juggling our changing schedules) revolve around the things we never knew or forgot about having a baby. Sure, there are dozens (hundreds?!) of books about having a baby but I think they focus more on how to take care of a new baby than prepare you for the nuances. So in an effort to make light of the sweet things of newborn-ville and remind you that you are not alone, here are some things you might discover in your baby's first four months of life!

1. The 10pm Nap. No longer the beginning of a stretch of dreams and quiet, your normal bedtime will become the start of a nap. You'll be up within the next 2-4 hours, feeding the sweet thing. So forget taking sleeping pills and prepare to be tired. VERY tired. It could be months and months before you get a full night of sleep.

2. The "Sleep while s/he is sleeping" advice is darn near impossible. While this is meant to encourage new moms to rest, I found that it was a complete challenge. Once the baby falls asleep and assuming you can put it down (see number 3), you will find 1.) you're not tired, 2.) that laundry, dishes or some other chore must be done, or 3.) your favorite show has just started. You will start a load of something, wipe down the counters, eat something and pee, then fatigue will start to set in and just as you curl up with your head on the pillow, the baby will wake up. No joke.

3. Your baby will sleep best (and possibly only) while being held. By you. By your spouse. By a grandparent. By a stranger at the grocery store. It's wonderful that babies require such physical touch and cuddling, and believe me, I love to snuggle with my kids and realize they won't always voluntarily crawl into my arms. But after working for 15...30...60 minutes to get your baby to sleep, you'll hold your breath and place it in bed, only to find it waking up immediately. We resorted to arranging pillows and blankets and the boppy (stopping just short of a heating pad but considered it!) to simulate our arms but that little nugget will know the difference! Argh!

4. Is my baby breathing? One of my most vivid memories of Zoë's first days was sleeping with the light on. She was in the bassinet next to my side of our bed but I couldn't bring myself to turn off the light because I wanted to make sure she was breathing. I was afraid to fall asleep because I was just positive she would stop breathing. It's so frustrating but most every mom experiences this fear. You'll be desperate for the baby to sleep for 5-6 hours and as soon as she does, you'll wake up in the middle of the night and rush to her quiet room, thinking it's only because she's passed out. Really. This happens.

5. The Phantom Cry. When you finally get a moment or two to shower, you'll swear you hear the baby's cries muffled by the sound of the running water. You'll hop out, soaked and covered in shampoo to check on the darling, only to find he's fast asleep and not making a noise. WTHeck?!

6. Your brain will change. I love how God created a portion of a woman's brain to start functioning as soon as the baby comes out. For nine months, your pregnancy required no mental thought to create the baby - it just happened on its own. Motherhood, however, requires every ounce of brain matter to remember, organize, structure, function, cope, and manage diapers, feedings, clothing, formula, pacifiers, naps, meals, and hygiene ALL while worrying about germs, growth rates, a healing mommy's body, and comparing yourself to every other mom in the world. Embrace the change.

7. Breast feeding might be best....but Similac/Enfamil/Gerber will make you think otherwise. By the time Tucker was born, I had seven (7!) full-size samples of formula in our closet. I mean, COME ON! There is nothing more tempting than giving up nursing when "the answer" sits in a hidden corner of your pantry. In just one pregnancy, the formula industry sent me over $100 worth of products to lure me in. It's worked every time. :-( You are not a bad mom for giving your baby formula.

8. Pacifiers are a blessing...and a curse. "Do you have the pacifier?" became as common as making sure we had the baby when leaving the house. I am so thankful for something that provides a sense of peace to soothe when my baby needs it but hate the dependancy it creates. It doesn't stay in. It gets dirty. They get lost as easily as ponytail holders and are only found when not needed. There are so many kinds (silicone? latex?) and are only cheap because you'll go through dozens in just twelve months.

9. You will expect the father of your baby to be a mother. You and your husband will care for the baby differently. Very differently. I believe that God created the woman to be the primary caretaker of children and this applies to newborns, too. I don't believe it's meant to be a 50/50 partnership of shared feedings, diaper changes, and wardrobe updates. He won't know when to feed the baby because you did the last feeding. He won't know if the diaper needs changing because you put on the last clean one. He'll want to hold the baby but won't offer to take it from you because you're its mother and wild animals kill anyone who tries to take their baby. He won't warm up the water for the bottle because you told him it was too hot last time. He won't get up in the middle of the night because he has to work the next day and doesn't even have an opportunity for a nap. He will try very, very hard to be a great dad but he's just not sure what that means and he's so overwhelmed with love and responsibility for this sweet bundle of joy that he doesn't want his weakness to make a mess of it. But he will be a great dad, if you let him.

Welcome to motherhood and take hope! Do you know the strength and power that resides in your heart? Do you know that you'll lose your life as you raise this child and surrender its every purpose to God? You'll die to yourself throughout every moment and realize how many rights you think you still possess. But your character will be beautiful as it's refined. You are not alone - God is with you and He's the perfect parent. He has all wisdom and knowledge for every challenge you're facing with Sweet Pea. He is our strength in moments of weakness. He provides friends who also go through the fires of motherhood, some who have gone before, some who walk alongside us, and some have yet to start the journey.

You are not alone!

Hello World!

2011-02-03T14:35:00.008-06:00

Yikes! Last post was September?! Until just a few weeks ago, my excuse was pregnancy and two kids so don't ask how I'm able to sit down and write a coherent thought with three. Let's just call it a miracle...all three are napping so what better way to write about the greatest news of our year? There were so many things different about this pregnancy and one day I'll write a detailed entry about my struggles through the first and second trimester but TODAY, I want to remember how Tucker Jack made his entry into this world.

According to my calculations, our second boy was due to arrive around February 1st. It was confirmed with multiple sonograms and my midwife's date showed February 3rd so when 2011 knocked at our door, we had at least a month to prepare. I had a "Pre-Baby Checklist" of items that needed purchasing and projects around the house. Brad and I talked about what needed to happen with Zoe (5) and Colby (newly 3) before the baby's arrival. Words like "gentle" and "please be patient" and "quiet please" needed to make their way to the forefront of our vocabulary. But most of all, we were still working on naming the little boy - I needed more time!!

My favorite part of Tucker's early arrival is that I cannot take an ounce of credit. God made Himself known as my Good and Sovereign King throughout every step. I had learned so much humility through Colby's labor & delivery that I was pushed to my knees from the moment we had a positive pregnancy test. I prayed. I asked God for really big miracles. I struggled with the balance of having faith for the "unseen and yet to come" and yet guarding my heart against human expectations. I prayed and prayed and then I prayed some more.

Tuesday night, January 4th

We took the kids to Chick-Fil-A for family night (free kids meals!) and came home for a dance party. (We have these a lot at our place right before bedtime.) While the kids shook their hips and laughed with Brad, I sat in the rocking chair and made a point to remember the moment. Knowing we'd soon have a little newborn and grow to a family of five, this stage of life was coming to a close so I wanted to embrace the image. I made another mental note to plan a "just the four of us" party before the end of the month. We all went to bed at our normal times; Brad took a double dose of melatonin.

Wee hours of January 5th (apologies if this is TMI...)

The sensation of gushing water between my legs woke me up at 1:45am and I rushed into our bathroom. I sat there and yelled to Brad (deep in a mela-coma): "I think my water broke." I was barely 36 weeks along and couldn't believe this was happening. I called my sweet midwife, Donna, who was in deep sleep and not expecting a call from me for another month! She instructed us to call when contractions got close together. I changed into my birthing gown & robe and donned a lovely pair of Depends. We started washing clothes (no newborn stuff was ready) and packed an overnight bag, in case we had to go to the hospital.

Around 6am, I had a few contractions that were just a few minutes apart so we called and asked Donna to come. My labors with Zoe and Colby were 3.5 hours and 4.5 hours so I expected similar results and didn't want my husband delivering our premie baby. Donna arrived but my contractions disappeared. The kids went to my parents but labor came to a standstill. All. Day. I would go over an hour without a contraction and started wondering how soon I'd have to go to the hospital. I was so thankful for a husband who was peaceful and prayerful and a midwife that exudes authority and peace and wisdom. I was never fearful just perplexed and trusting that we had heard the Lord about a third home birth.

Donna left early afternoon and we tried to rest. I ate Mexican food, hoping to "spice up" my labor. I tried to sleep but mostly rested until we crawled into bed at 9pm. I laid there for an hour and finally moved to Zoe's empty bed to elude my husband's snoring. (Sorry, babe.)

Thursday, January 6th

Labor finally began just after midnight with contractions intensifying and regulating. At that point, I was JOYFUL to have a painful contraction and relieved to be in labor. God knew what I needed. The birth team arrived (midwife, assistant, and student) and I was hurting and serious. Unlike previous labors, I found that focusing on random objects (the door hinge or screw head) helped me breathe. I talked out loud to myself, like my own personal coach. I could feel the transition and knew our baby boy was making his way to our arms.

Just before 6am, I could feel the little boy moving down to make his arrival. I had forgotten the pain of the last few moments of labor. Donna later compared it to a freight train and she was right: I lost it. Donna's voice calmed me down and I pushed with eager desperation. Whew, he was OUT! He was sticky and crying and beautiful and perfect.

He was on me within seconds and I just kept calling him my "sweet boy" and Brad's voice filled his ears. And though we didn't give him a name for another, we know that God established his identity before time and calls him by name. And we like to call him Tucker. Tucker Jack Thompson. Who weighed exactly seven and a half pounds - can he still be called a premie?!?!

As I finish this entry and remember back to the moment God told me that this baby boy was for me - for my heart and for my joy - I am overwhelmed with love for a child I had often wished away and second-guessed. Thanks be to God for his indescribable gift!

A Domestic Revelation

2010-09-21T15:20:00.001-05:00

I had a great time with a girlfriend yesterday (love you ED). Even moms need their own play dates sometimes! And I love how God puts people in our lives who challenge us to move forward. Towards Jesus. Through faithfulness. And with perspective and hope.

I had a busy morning of making bread, chicken salad, and hard boiled eggs in prep for our lunch. As I floated back and forth in my kitchen, I kept praying and asking God: Give me joy in the domestic. Cause my heart to love the things it takes to make my home flourish. Please God, help me! God has been doing a work in my heart lately and giving me heart-core desire to want to enjoy the housekeeping it takes to make a great home. A peaceful home. A home where I don’t feel overwhelmed because laundry piles into a two-day endeavor. A home where my kids can find the toys they like and like the toys we find. A home where my husband feels a rushing joy to walk in the front door.

Most of all: a home where God is glorified.

Praise God my girlfriend is experiencing the same desires. We talked for hours (and hours!) about these struggles. We were reminded how our gracious husbands show patience. We laughed at how we tend to go from nothing to overachieving – like no meal plan to a ten-week meal plan with every vegetable and seasoning planned out, groceries that require a once-monthly trip to the store, and don’t forget cutting coupons to save thousands! And we felt our hearts swell at the women who model this well, not perfectly, to give us hope without causing too much comparison.

This morning I was meditating on Colossians 1 and asking God to give me the wisdom and knowledge to have an organized and easily maintained home. But my prayers seemed little. Like asking Willy Wonka for an everlasting gobstopper when he is offering the whole factory and a lifetime supply of chocolate. Yum. Okay, back to spiritual insight. My sights started lifting to a broader and bigger prayer: God be glorified in my homemaking. Yes, that’s it! In my meal preparation, be glorified. In my cleaning and laundry, be glorified. In closets and behind closed doors, be glorified. And hardest of all: be glorified in how I spend my time.

He isn’t glorified in laziness.
He isn’t glorified in chaos.
He isn’t glorified when distraction keeps us from His best.

I believe God places a dream in each woman’s heart for her home. A dream for the what-ifs and why-nots. A dream to see beauty overtaking the tasks that have long weighed our souls and calloused our hands. To close our eyes and picture, imagine, and dream for an environment that can simply cause heaven to break into this earthly structure.

What is God’s dream for your home?

Baby Update

2010-09-03T14:11:00.003-05:00

A mom never wants to get a phone a week after having blood taken at a prenatal appointment. They only call when something is wrong, never to congratulate you for having great blood work or for gaining only two pounds in four weeks.

We got such a call last Wednesday and the timing could not have been worse. I had taken Colby to a Build-a-Bear class and about ten other moms had the same idea. Crowded space, crazed children, and obnoxious music playing over the loud speaker. I couldn’t find a quiet corner but could make out enough to understand the weight of the moment: “Quad screen blood work. Down syndrome – fine. Spina bifida – fine. Trisomy 18 – positive. Sending you upstairs to see the high-risk specialist.”

The room whirled and I couldn’t even articulate a question, didn’t know what questions to ask, and felt like the room had turned upside down while the weight of my feet kept me planted. Blinking back tears and trying to occupy Colby with a stuffed military bear, I called Brad and tried to put the pieces together for him.

Inhale. Focus. Faith.

I committed to limit my internet research and especially not visit pages with pictures of children with Edwards Syndrome (trisomy 18 defect). At the three sites I briefly glanced, I found the information we needed: the test is an indicator of risk and not a diagnosis, only 11% of women who have the positive test actually have a baby with the defect, and most sobering, it’s a fatal disease with most children not living past age 1, if they survive childbirth.

A week later, I walked into the specialist’s office and wondered what kind of change my afternoon would hold.

Genetic Counselor. God is my counselor.
High-risk Specialist. God is the author of Life. He is the perfecter of my faith. He knew we would be sitting in this room before the beginning of time and He sits here with us now.
Level 2 Ultrasound. He is knitting this baby together and creating his inmost being.

It’s a boy. A healthy baby boy without a single trace of a genetic malformation. Head shape: normal. Heart chambers: normal. Function of hands and feet: normal. Growth rate: normal. Heart Defects: none. No cleft lip. No swelling around his head. Praise the Lord.

For us, the suffering was limited to a “what-if” scenario and we were kept from having to walk through a deeper trial. His goodness would not have waivered had the ultrasound shown all the markers for the syndrome. His craftsmanship doesn’t stop when He creates babies to have physical imperfections and His promises are certainly not void when an earthly life lasts only a few short days, weeks, or months. He is good. His love endures forever.

And we can’t wait to introduce you to this baby boy sometime in February.

Catching Up...

2010-07-07T14:02:00.003-05:00

I can hardly believe I haven't blogged since February but dates don't lie and it's really been 5 months. Sadness. I have moments when I think of some fantastic blog topic but it's rarely at a moment I can actually sit down at the computer. And, if I'm really honest, I will tell you that I've been weaning myself from technology. I'll explain later but for now, here are my random thoughts of late:

Total Irritation

There are several things frustrating me at the moment but here is the first on my list: Downfall. It's the newest game show on ABC and it bugs the heck out of me. The basic premise of the show is that contestants are in a rush against time to answer trivia questions. Rather than just "losing" the amazing prizes, audiences watch the actual items progress down a conveyor belt that eventually drops items off the side of a building. Crashing to complete obliteration. Fascinating to watch but disgusting to think about the value that some of those items might have for families in today's economic times. Brand new appliances. Pianos. Techie juke boxes. And new cars. Do you know how many families in America could have their lives changed by one of those prizes? ABC boasts itself as "A Better Community" but this is far from supporting local lives. Ugh.

Pay-Off

I have subscribed over the years to dozens of email newsletters & updates, in the hopes of getting great coupons and deals. I have often been excited to receive member-only invitations, coupons that don't require a purchase of the Sunday paper, and other deals in my inbox. Most recently, I received an invitation from Dove to become a Dove Ambassador, which I eagerly said "Sign me up!" Here's the scoop: Dove has introduced a new product (Daily Treatment Conditioner) and sent me an amazing package including the full-size product and five samples to give to girlfriends. There were coupons (!!) and I was blown away by such an extreme gesture. I mean, I expect the little "tear-open-with-your-teeth-in-the-shower" samples but this was exactly what I would have purchased at the store. The product is thick and creamy, made my hair look and feel so healthy, and the smell was divine. Love the program, love the product. Way to go, Dove.

Morning Sickness Tips from a Real Mom

Some of you may know that we're pregnant and expecting baby #3 in February. I hit the ten-week mark yesterday and that came with a typical day of "getting sick" (always with one kid hovering over my shoulder), an appetite that doesn't allow ANYthing to sound good EVER, and just the plain irritation of feeling like shit all day. Oops. Sorry. There's just not another word that does this feeling justice. My husband has picked up all household chores as my capacity currently keeps me on the couch if I'm not doing the essentials: making sure my kids don't starve, keeping diapers from leaking, and trips to the bathroom.

So here are a few things that actually make the worst moments a little more manageable, starting with my favorite:

Problem: Hungry for something but nothing sounds good. Solution: Stock up on a HUGE variety of frozen meals (I prefer Lean Cuisine and try to get them on sale). Here's the secret: when nothing sounds good, variety is the key. I can choose from chicken alfredo, macaroni and cheese, or santa fe rice & beans. Or lasagna. Or turkey tetrazzini. I sometimes opt for things I wouldn't touch other days and it's ready in 6-7 minutes or less. Problem solved.
Problem: Overwhelming smells. Solution: Invest in your favorite candles and keep them lit all day. To walk past my favorite Slatkin & Company candle (Pineapple Orchid), gives me, even if just for 5 seconds, total serenity. It's like I forget I'm pregnant!
Problem: Zero Productivity. Solution: Pride yourself in the little things. I had a day a couple weeks ago where I started a load of laundry and it was like Christmas! I was so excited to have found 15 minutes of feeling normal and took advantage of it. I bragged on myself to my sweet husband and just felt good for having accomplished such a little task! Moms: your super human gift is making babies - don't be hard on yourself! God is great when we are weak.

(insert Dr. Pepper craving)

Final Thought

I told you I would explain my disinterest in technology and here it is in a nutshell: Does your computer or iPhone make you a better or worse mom? For me, there is no neutral in this subject and I wonder if it's really this way for most of us. I have been found more than guilty of becoming consumed by Facebook for hours a day, placing checking my email above my kids, and falling into the ugliness of my own escape. Facebook lately has just disgusted me...actually, let me rephrase that: I've seen such pride, judgment, etc. on Facebook from women who could spend their time better. Nobody really cares about your status getting updated every 15 minutes and YOUR KIDS DON'T CARE EITHER!!! I can't quite convince myself to delete my account but I've cut it out of my daily routine. What's holding you? When your kids picture you in their minds, is it with an iPhone in hand or sitting at the computer? Come on, ladies!

Okay, so that's enough ranting for one afternoon. And certainly controversial enough for a long overdue blog update. Live your life!!!

Rushing To Crisis

2010-02-08T12:22:00.002-06:00

The kids and I were on our way home yesterday when I noticed several sets of flashing lights, about a mile ahead. Our normal route has us make a left before the accident but something powerful stirred in my heart as I realized there was an emergency on the road ahead. I imagined broken, bloodied bodies on the road and the gifted & trained professionals who would be tending to their wounds.

But I realized that the Kingdom was drawing us to the scene of the crisis.

We drove forward and my heart began racing. I pictured myself parking my car and bringing gospel-centered prayers to the victims and speaking the power of the cross into their despair. I began praying out loud so my kids would engage with the situation, even though their eyes couldn't see over the sides of the doors and through the windows. When their sight isn't "high" enough to see or understand, I still draw them into the situation so they encounter Kingdom. We prophesied to the injury, internal bleeding, and mental states of those involved and we took Blood-centered authority over the situation.

We arrived at the scene to find that there were no victims, probably removed by ambulance, and the only remnants were deployed air bags and broken metal & plastic on the road. I was slightly disappointed we couldn't stop but we continued praying and I asked Zoe if she knew the names of the hurt people. She responded with a confident "Laura. Jess." So we prayed for "Laura" and "Jess" and we'll know in eternity their real names. Or the real faces with the prophesied names.

In Matthew 9:36, Jesus looks at a crowd of people who were:

harassed

helpless

distressed

dispirited

confused

aimless

bewildered

faint

scattered abroad

weary

and hurting

Even after healing and announcing the kingdom for days - weeks? months? - Jesus chose to see people and have a heart response to them. Isn't everyone in their own personal crisis? Isn't everyone hurting? Don't we live in a land of confusion and aimlessness? And aren't so many of today's people feeling faint and weary? We are living in a day of crisis and are called to bring Kingdom.

And so, we shepherd our children's hearts so they rush to crisis, and not despise it. We train our children to love people in their individual emergencies and enter with hearts of love. To tell them to run away or to model a life of comfort that avoids the problems or crisis of others - is to tell our children that the gospel is not true and that Jesus is insufficient.

Book Review: Crazy Love by Francis Chan

2010-01-24T11:59:00.003-06:00

Crazy Love has been quite the adventure and I'm a little sad to be closing the final chapters of this inspiring book. I wanted to share a few highlights:

In his opening chapter, Francis directs his readers to view two videos available on his website. The Awe Factor of God is brilliant.

Chapter 4, "Profile of the Lukewarm," gets pretty personal as Francis addresses some specific attitudes and behaviors of so-called lukewarm Christians. (He even at some points go as far as to say that lukewarm Christians cannot exist.) Page 68:

"Lukewarm People don't really want to be saved from their sin; they want only to be saved from the penalty of their sin. They don't genuinely hate sin and aren't truly sorry for it; they're merely sorry because God is going to punish them. Lukewarm people don't really believe that this new life Jesus offers is better than the old sinful one."

He included a beautiful prayer from A.W. Tozer's The Pursuit of God, which has been prodding my heart more towards the heart of Jesus:

"O God, I have tasted Thy goodness, and it has both satisfied me and made me thirsty for more. I am painfully conscious of my need for further grace. I am ashamed of my lack of desire. O God, the Triune God, I ant to want Thee; I love to be filled with longing; I thirst to be made more thirsty still. Show me Thy glory I pray Thee, so that I may know Thee indeed. Begin in mercy a new work of love within me. Say to my soul, "Rise up my love, my fair one, and come away." Then give me grace to rise and follow Thee up from this misty lowland where I have wandered so long."

Good book. Great author. Glorious God.

Day #5: Let's Kick Fear in the Face

2010-01-05T16:43:00.006-06:00

I was on the treadmill at the gym this morning when an interesting line popped up on the TV screen during a commercial for Ghost Hunters. Yes, ridiculous show but they are hooking viewers with a quite profound line:

"Get Fluent in Fear"

I have been spending my time on the treadmill praying, reading a Beth Moore book, and interceding for the Village small group that Brad and I are going to be leading at our church, The City Church. And I tend to be one of those people that likes to turn everything I encounter into something spiritual or having to do with the Gospel. Please, don't stop reading because I found a piece of truth in a dusty corner of media.

Assuming all my readers are English speakers, have you ever noticed how we never have to think to speak in English? Our thoughts, even though rarely put into vocabulary, always seem to be in English. We rarely have to grasp for a word, or translate in our heads when we need to communicate. Those that have learned other languages have probably encountered a time when their thoughts (or sometimes dreams) switch easily between their native & new language with ease. That might be considered a time when we become fluent in something other than our native tongue.

The same is true when our minds think in fear, like the above quote. When we start learning the language of fear, whether through bad experiences, uncontrolled emotions, or just plain humanity, parts of our brain start making the switch. We practice the language because, for many of us, it's actually easier to speak & think "in fear" than remember how we were created to think. Before long, our minds are fluent in the language and - because we live in a land that thrives on fear - it becomes our primary way of functioning.

We make decisions because we are fluent in fear.

We build walls around our hearts towards others & God that protect us - because the language of fear requires isolation.

We don't even realize that we are dreaming, thinking, and living "fluent in fear" because it's become so natural.

I don't know about you but I want this to be the year that I kick fear in the face. How many times in our lives have we missed out on something great because we're afraid? As I stand on the fifth day of 2010, I want to view the year before me with eyes of FAITH & ADVENTURE. I want words spoken to me "in fear" to sound like gibberish, easily recognized as such and even more quickly dismissed.

Walking in this adventure requires leaving FEAR behind so I'm bolting for the cross, where faith meets my soul.

Day #1: Reading Adventures

2010-01-02T18:55:00.002-06:00

Within one month (late November through late December) I read the last three novels of the Twilight saga. Between these three books, I logged over 2000 pages in these high-energy, sweet romance drama, vampire/werewolf madness. I loved the books and it was a great way to finish a year of increasing my book list.

So the adventure in 2010 is to organize my reading efforts into three categories:

Faith (books related to my walk with God)

Fiction (novels, "fun" pleasure reads)

For Reals (non-fiction doesn't technically start with an "f")

My plan is to keep one book in each of the three categories by my bedside and commence late night reading. I'll update everyone with reviews, tidbits, and personal revelation I receive from what I read.

So, here is the list for January:

Crazy Love: Overwhelmed by a Relentless God (Francis Chan)

Christ the Lord: Out of Egypt (Anne Rice)

Going Rogue: An American Life (Sarah Palin)

Anyone want to join the book club?

2010

2010-01-01T18:27:00.002-06:00

I saw "Julie & Julia" a few weeks ago and was completely inspired by Julie's blogging endeavors. (I secretly hope I will get a book deal someday. *wink*) I figured that with the start of a new year, now might be a good time to start some sort of series or theme that relates to the next 365 days. Oh wait, is this a leap year? Nope, 365 days indeed.

My most honest and raw topics tend to be related to being a mom and having children (and yes, those can be two different things) so I'm going to dub this my "Year of Adventure" and broaden my theme to include other parts of my existence.

Those closest to us might say our marriage has been one big adventure: one strong-willed woman marrying a quiet, although strong and passionate younger man, which turned quickly into a story of becoming pregnant, struggling through some very dark times, and finding ourselves with two children within 3.5 years of being "the Thompsons." It's only fitting that the year 2010, a new decade, and potentially the most life-changing year we've faced, become the platform for sharing life on a more consistent level with the cyber masses. Adventure, though some might call it change or stress factors, has always been a part of our lives.

So here's to TwentyTen. I might not have over five hundred recipes to set a particular goal but I do believe that God is creating something more unique than "beef bourguignon" within the space around me and my family. And, more than that, He is creating space within us (and in the days before us) that requires an adventurous spirit, one that embraces His great goodness and leadership.

Will you join me for the Adventure?

New Friends

2009-12-01T10:28:00.003-06:00

The first time I saw them, it was a cold and blistery day. November was closing its chapter and the truest of winter months was just hours away. But no one should be walking on a highway service road unless carrying a gas can. They were dressed appropriately, donning warm scarves and knit hats, backpacks looking full and heavy.

And pushing a stroller.

My heart sank as I passed them at 60 mph and I stared at them in my rearview mirror. Where are they going? Where did they come from? And most importantly: why do they have a small child with them? My mind raced to answer the questions and I decided, with much hesitation, that they must live in a nearby apartment and were headed to the mall for Christmas shopping. After all, the intersection was full of the most popular places to buy holiday gifts and restaurants to fill hungry tummies. Little did I know they had only eaten peanut butter & crackers that day. With a blink of an eye and a blinking turn signal, they were gone and I continued on to my errands.

On a quick impulse after dinner that evening, Zoe and I headed out for a girl's night, needing the ever-essential Bath & Body Works (I had a coupon!) and was reminded to pick up dog food for Sadie. We drove through Starbucks to get our appropriate sized cups of hot chocolate and were listening to Christmas music when I nearly drove off the road.

The bundled trio was timidly preparing to cross the street as I passed them in the even bleaker darkness of night. I swerved to the turning lane, pulled a quick u-turn, and frantically searched for them as I stuffed my purse under my legs and pulled out my cell phone, in case things went wrong.

Travis. Kristen. and little Rachel Elizabeth.

Travis is already homeless, and has been on and off the streets since he was 12. He is most recently finding shelter at night inside the unlocked fitness rooms of area apartment complexes. Kristen & Rachel are living with a family of five, in a two bedroom apartment, all on the verge of being evicted., with no place to go.

Zoe and I bought them dinner at Potbellys as they shared their stories. Kristen is just a year younger than I am and Rachel turns three in January. They ate at Whataburger for Thanksgiving because they had no electricity. Kristen was the first to ask if I went to church - God's power is bright and clear when the needs of the oppressed are met by His people - and I gushed over our community and how much we love our church. I told them we meet on Sunday nights for a big meal and talk about Christ-centered community.

Kristen called our meeting "divine intervention" and I agreed, my casual response tame compared to the surge of Kingdom Coming that was beating in my heart. After putting a few dollars in each of their hands, a drive to Kroger to use food stamps, we drove them to the apartment with more a sense of something beginning than something about to end. Never once did I feel unsafe or unwise for putting my daughter in such a situation. My God challenges that we serve and love and provide for the least of these and Zoe was able to witness first hand the Gospel.

I told her we wanted to have a play date in a couple of days (after all, she's a mom before she's a nearly-homeless woman) and insisted that we would pick them up on Sunday and take them to church with us. I can already see their hearts warming towards our friends, being loved by a people most made to love, and realizing there are no strings attached to our kindness.

Please pray for them. Pray for Brad and I to show them the most beautiful love...crazy love. Bold love. Love that washes their fears away like melted snow and love that believes for the impossible to be made right in their hearts.

If you are interested in helping us help them, there are practical needs. Rachel needs clothes and diapers. Travis needs a place to sleep. They both need jobs immediately and have already set their sights on a very affordable one-bedroom apartment. Please email me or call me if you would like to help. There is no better time to remember how very fortunate we are and how very much we have.

Mom Essentials #3

2009-10-14T14:40:00.002-05:00

Essential: Cheap Haircuts

Type: Mom Essential: health & beauty

Cost: starting at $15.95

When I had long hair, I could get away with haircuts every 4-6 months. Since it's been much shorter, I have to cut it more often and was forced to find a cheaper place. I had been getting it cut at Ulta (I've always liked their stylists) but I was paying no less than $45 plus tip each time. Yikes!

Let me introduce you to Mastercuts and more specifically, a great stylist at the Hulen Mall Mastercuts, whose name is Kimberly. I went on a whim, she happened to be working, and come to find out, she was trained by Toni & Guy.

Hair cuts start at just $15.95 for adults, a shampoo is $2-3 more, and style is additional. I went last week, washed my hair a couple hours before leaving, she sprayed it before cutting ($2 savings), and I pass on the styling, which saves another $6.

And, right now, you can print off a coupon for $2.00 so I paid just $13.95 plus tip. That's a savings of over 60%.

Now you have no excuse for a boring haircut!!

Bits of Revelation

2009-10-05T11:39:00.002-05:00

I realized something quite extraordinary a couple days ago. Here is my attempt to put into writing the pieces of fresh understanding.

Being a mom occupies about 90% of my time. And probably 96% of my efforts. If doing loads of little people laundry, changing diapers, training, correcting, disciplining, preparing kid-friendly meals, finding creative ways to help my kids play, trips to the library, mall, & playground, checking mouths for crayon bits, flushing unflushed toilets, hoping stains come out of newly purchased clothing, reorganizing my wallet again because it fell into the wrong hands, explaining why watching television all day is not an option, telling my 21-month old again to take his hand out of his diaper(!), laughing when my kids find a box of tampons and use them as "tools," making sure everyone has shoes when we leave the house...

*sigh*

As much as I love (or have come to accept) all of these things, God has designed me to do things that don't just fall under the mom (or wife) category. I realized that my discontent with life lately has not been because of the things I'm doing, it's because of things I'm not doing. Brad and I had a great conversation where I articulated this and I'm resolved to make some changes. I have to choose to make room for the things that God has placed within me as a woman, not because I'm a mom or a wife. I think it's important that we, as women, find motivation in life that isn't related to parenting, house-keeping, or serving a husband.

We've long heard women in our secular culture encouraging others to "make time for themselves" in the way of make-overs, pedicures, manicures, and massages. Join a fitness center. Enjoy Starbucks once a week. But what I'm talking about is finding the treasures, gifts, and talents God has placed within us - long before motherhood or marriage took the stage. Maybe you have been created to mentor younger women or perhaps you've always longed to lead worship and just need to take steps to learn an instrument. Do you love hosting dinner parties or organizing ladies night out? Perhaps it's making a meal for an elderly neighbor or designing a flyer for an upcoming church event.

For me, it's writing. I've talked about writing a book for a long time and have gone through seasons where the burden ebbs and flows, where time makes it difficult, and where my self-confidence lags. But guess what?! I wrote the first chapter yesterday! I sat at my computer for 30 minutes and it flowed off my fingertips like honey. I have not often felt the power and presence of the Holy Spirit as strong as I did while writing.

God is empowering me to live the life that He desires - and I have come to see that not expressing this passion diminishes my ability to give God glory which in turn diminished my happiness. Malachi 3:8 says that we rob God in the way of our offerings (defined as something offered in worship or devotion). You have been created to offer yourself as a living sacrifice in this Great Story and without your talents fully-functional, we are missing letters, sentences, and paragraphs.

Go ahead, write your chapter.

Mom Essentials #2

2009-08-24T15:00:00.006-05:00

Essential: Target Diapers

Type: Baby essential

Cost: $13.99 for 96 size 3 diapers

I've been doing the math lately on lots of things it takes to run a home with small children. For example, how much does a load of laundry cost (laundry detergent, fabric softener, electricity for drying one load), and more than ANYthing: the lovely little thing we call DIAPERS!! Here's my math:

Let's say your child wears diapers until they are 2.5 years old. That's 912 days of diapers. Now, let's just say you average 6 diapers a day...more when they're newborns and fewer as they get older. That's 5472 diapers in 2.5 years. Holy moly, that's a lot! (Multiply if you have more than one kid and...yikes!)

Simple breakdown:

If you buy Huggies diapers wholesale (like Costco or Sam's Club), you get 224 size 3 diapers for $49.99. That's approximately 22.3¢ per diaper. That's nearly a quarter a diaper! Over the course of diaper-time(2.5 years), that's a grand spending of $1220.26. Or think of it as $40.67 each month!

Brilliance:

Target diapers (newly renamed Up & Up), which I have found to be as leak proof as Huggies, can be bought (size 3) in a large box of 96 diapers for $13.99. At only 14.6¢ per diaper, I will spend only $798.91 by the time Colby is 2.5...with a grand savings of $421.35. Monthly, it's $26.63...a savings of 34%.

Moreover, the boxes lately have featured $2.00 off coupons, reducing my spending by an additional 14%!

BONUS: If you purchase online and buy three or more boxes, you save an additional 20%. Click to visit Target's website.

I also like to think that if we have a total of 4 kids, I will have saved us $1685.40, which is an amazing weekend trip with my husband when our last child gets potty-trained!!!!

Mom Essentials #1

2009-08-18T11:08:00.003-05:00

I've decided to start a new series that requires much less intensity and vulnerability than "Confessions of a Real Mom." Over the past several months, I have come to realize that there are things in a mom's arsenal that are "musts" for every mom. Each week, I'll post a new product, website, discipline or "whatever" that I think will help you be a better mom. Some weeks, I might feel more generous and post a couple of essentials. ;-)

Since this is the first of the series, let me define what I believe to be Mom-Essentials.

1. The item must be easily accessible and preferably free.

2. The item can be as much for the child as it is for the mother and vice versa. For example, you might not make your child an appointment for a massage but for you, its effects will ripple through your family!

Welcome to the Essential Aisle!!

Essential: ScreenIt.com

Type of Product: Website

Cost: Free (although you can subscribe for just $24.95 for the entire year)

I have been more than disgusted in recent months at the children I've seen in movie theaters showing an R-rated movie. Brad and I saw a movie on Saturday night that was chock-full of violence and oh, the language! Before the movie started, two families walked in with children under the age of 7 and it was all I could do to stay in my seat. It infuriates me that parents would expose their children to the elements that come with an R-rating.

You might not be taking your children to these movies, but even PG and PG-13 movies are laden with sexual innuendoes, "mild" cussing, and violence that Hollywood deems appropriate for certain ages. Even PG rated movies can (and do) contain sexual content! Come on, Moms! We have the responsibility to protect and preserve our children's innocence by NOT exposing them to EVIL. I don't know about you, but I don't have the time to preview an entire movie before showing it to my kids so I've found a website that does it for me.

Screen-It is an online site that rates movies in 15 (yep, that's fifteen) categories, with ratings that include: None, Mild, Moderate, Heavy, and Extreme. It then explains the rating(why), the plot, gives a word to parents, and describes in full detail every time a cuss word is used, every sexual anything, and more. Not only will this give you a complete list of everything your children will see and hear, it will help you determine what movies to see yourself. (Brad and I have often changed our mind about what movie to go see after reading the online review at ScreenIt.com.)

Here's a idea of how they rated the newly released "Julie and Julia" which is rated PG-13. All this content is directly from ScreenIt.com. (I haven't seen the movie...)

Alcohol/Drugs: Heavy

Blood/Gore: Mild

Disrespectful/Bad Attitude: Moderate

Frightening/Tense Scenes: Minor

Guns/Weapons: Minor

Imitative Behavior: Mild

Jump Scenes: None

Music(Scary/Tense): None

Music(Inappropriate): None

Profanity: Heavy

Sex/Nudity: Heavy

Smoking: Heavy

Tense Family Scenes: Heavy

Topics to Talk About: Moderate

Violence: Minor

It sometimes makes me laugh when they describe some of the detail under each category. For example, for this movie, one of the "Sex/Nudity" scenes is described as: "Julie and Eric passionately kiss while clothed." It's seemingly mild but the reviewers & raters find it completely necessary to include it to better educate parents!

Please visit this site regularly and commit to protecting your children. Guard your home against the evil that will enter through the movies we play on screens. Their eyes are the windows to our children's souls so let's let the Light shine more brightly than the darkness.

Confession of a Real Mom #2

2009-08-11T14:31:00.001-05:00

I had such a sweet morning with one of my besties & felt inspired to write another blog today. Consider it a follow-up from the more-than-recent confession of difficulty in motherhood.

My moments of deep, deep darkness seem to press further behind me as I search, quite desperately at times, for Light. I love following Jesus. I love His leadership and His tender tenacity in making me more like Him and less like myself. Yet, oddly, I become more like Myself as the transformation goes deeper and hits the darker and uglier roots.

My blog-fession (confession) left me surprisingly free as so many moms (and yet-to-be-moms) found encouragement in relating to another Christian mom who has hard times. My heart swells at the future I believe awaits us as our toddlers turn into teenagers and diapers morph into diplomas.

Thank you, Jesus, for these moments of struggle and sin. Thank you that YOU lead me to these places so that Your character is glorified in the horrific comparison to my sinful nature. Keep my heart from ever loving my sin. Keep my mind from justifying my position before you as anything but humble. Keep my kids innocent in their childhood but open-eyed aware of their sin, just like Mommy & Daddy.

My prayer for my children has been Psalm 23 and as I meditate on verse 6, it reminds me that I must deliver God’s promises to my kids:

“Surely God’s goodness and unfailing love will pursue Zoë all the days of her life and she will live in the house of the Lord forever.”

“Surely God’s goodness and unfailing love will pursue Colby all the days of his life and he will live in the house of the Lord forever.”

I’m enjoying motherhood today. And I’m pretty sure I will again tomorrow.

“I look up to the mountains – does my help come from there?

My help comes from the Lord, who made heaven and earth!

He will not let you stumble; the one who watches over you will not slumber.

Indeed, he who watches over Israel never slumbers or sleeps.

The Lord himself watches over you! The Lord stands beside you as your protective shade.

The sun will not harm you by day, nor the moon at night.

The Lord keeps you from all harm and watches over your life.

The Lord keeps watch over you as you come and go, both now and forever.”

Psalm 121

Best Potato Salad Ever!

2009-08-03T10:46:00.002-05:00

A couple weeks ago, I had a night to myself so I indulged in two of my favorite things: beauty products & potato salad. Yep, that's right: I would rather have a plate of Red Hot & Blue's Potato Salad than a bowl of ice cream or bar of chocolate. Determined to have it more frequently, I learned how to make it at home. Here's my version of the treasured recipe:

"Wanna-Be Potato Salad"

Ingredients:

10 red-skinned potatoes
7 hard-boiled eggs, yolks discarded
1/2 cup green onions, diced (more or less to your taste)
1 cup mayo
3/4 teaspoon celery seed (I opted to do a little more)
1/2 teaspoon salt

1. Cut each potato into 16th's (down the middle and then each half into 8 cubes). Boil potatoes until soft.

2. In a large bowl, combine the mayo, celery seed and salt.

3. Chop the hard-boiled egg whites into large chunks and add to mayo mixture.

4. When potatoes are fully cooked (soft but not mushy), drain and rinse with water. Cubes/pieces should hold their shape.

5. Add potatoes and green onions to mayo mixture.

Can be served warm (like RH&B) or stick it in the fridge for a cold version.

Of Late...

2009-07-28T16:52:00.003-05:00

The blog world is crying for a new post, so I'll just put some random ramblings of my life lately.

1. I have discovered a local coffee company that sells organic, free-trade beans & grounds. Makes a delightful cup of coffee - specifically, I'm enjoying "Nutty Blonde" - and it's just $10.50 per pound. Aduro Bean is the name and coffee is their game. They were at the Farmer's Market hosted by TCU last week (and perhaps monthly...). Please join me in supporting our locals with your business. I'm enjoying a hot cup now...

2. I have a renewed love for literature...fiction & non-fiction. I just finished reading Crichton's Jurassic Park and thoroughly enjoyed it. Last month, I read Digital Fortress by Dan Brown, who is the author of Angels & Demons and The Da Vinci Code, two of my favorite novels & movies. I'm also learning to utilize the FW Library's audio book service and just checked out The Curious Case of Benjamin Button & Other Jazz Age Tale by Fitzgerald. This will surely come in handy while working on #3...

3. I have decided to learn how to knit! I want more hobbies than diaper changing & dishwasher loading so I'm looking for activities that are productive. I checked out a heap of books from our library and, next stop: JenningStreet Yarns. I haven't bought a single item (i.e. needles or yarn) but that will be happening promptly. I'm excited to start with scarves & hats for the family and follow up with some baby blankets...

4. Brad and I are pretty big fans of ABC series...Grey's Anatomy, Brother's & Sisters mostly - but we have just become fans of NBC's The Office. We have seen bits & pieces of the show over the past couple of years but didn't see the humor for two reasons. 1. We didn't know the characters or history well enough to get most jokes, and 2. Steve Carell's character, Michael Scott, is so inappropriate, disillusioned, and shocking that we found ourselves too irritated to be entertained. BUT, after watching the first season...and second, third, and fourth...we are laughing out loud every episode. We made it through the first four seasons in just a few weeks. I commented to Brad the other night that the show is surprisingly clean - the language is tame followed by even tamer sexual innuendos. Definitely refreshing.

4. And, finally, I am helping to plan my ten-year high school reunion. I graduated in 1999 and this past May marked a full decade of adulthood. Whatever that means. The reunion weekend will take place in October, with events including evening cocktails, a family picnic, and the big reunion on Lake Lewisville. Check out the website if you'd like!

That's all for now, folks!

Confession of a Real Mom

2009-07-11T20:49:00.002-05:00

I’ve had a really hard time being a mom lately.

There are all kinds of moments and reasons that have added up to a really frustrated woman who has two kids. It’s even more difficult, however, because there isn’t a wealth of discussion (or admission) from other moms who have more than just “moments” and venture into seasons of struggling in motherhood. I guess that’s why I’m writing this blog.

Anger has usually been a very comfortable thing for me. Put two toddlers in my life who are learning to obey, respect, love, etc. and it becomes more common. I’m not writing this because I’m proud of that weakness, but more to encourage other moms who might have struggles like mine. And confession is like cool rain on blistering embers. I need a thunderstorm.

Zoë and I hit some hard times just before she turned two, and our anger & attitudes fueled our developing relationship. She and I are both strong-willed, first-born girls who tend to think that everything in the universe must cater to our wants, ideas, and especially our emotions. Put two women like that together, add transition of life, other stresses and out emerges a very volatile situation. God, however, in His great mercy and divine providence, landed us in a “Love & Logic” class on parenting. The senior pastor of McKinney Bible Church was willing to share his struggle in anger and then gave some practical advice that allowed Zoë and I to turn a corner. But the past few months, I find myself in a whole new season with Zoë approaching her fourth birthday and frustrated that this issue is resurfacing.

Of late I have come to realize something quite overwhelming. One can want to have children while not wanting to become a mother. There is a big difference between the two. “Wanting to have children” feeds on the cuteness, the newness, and the basic thrill of babies, toddlers, etc. Have you noticed that we ask newly married couples “When are you guys going to have kids?” and not “When are you guys going to become parents?” Probably because it’s easier think of sweet babies then question the preparedness of someone’s heart. Newsflash! Both questions are important.

Motherhood is controlling fury while spanking a flailing child. Motherhood is engaging in floor games & play-dough when email & Facebook provide a better escape. Motherhood is restraining tongue when the most blasphemous statements emerge from a three-year-old’s mouth. Motherhood is realizing that this job is not glamorous, is only occasionally “fun,” and most of the time – when really displaying itself – pushes in the opposite direction of our nature. It’s downright exhausting, draining, and demanding.

I started sobbing the other night in bed, deep & heavy tears. I was shaking and can’t remember another time I’ve been so upset. A sentence started circling my thoughts and it took every ounce of capacity to utter the words: I hate being a mother. I said it twice and I meant it both times. The weight was so unbearable that even in a pitch-black room, the darkness seemed darker. After a box of Kleenex, glass of water, and husband-comfort, I could breath again and started saying this, over and over:

“And the Truth shall set you free. And the Truth shall set you free. And the Truth shall set you free."

Jesus is setting me free as a mother, something I never knew I needed. He’s revealing the very ugly places in my heart that battle against this reality. He’s aligning my thoughts, attitudes, and emotions towards my children. And He is gently reminding me that my life is not my own. It belongs to my King, my husband and my children.

I repented to Zoë tonight for all the anger I’ve been carrying around. She seemed mostly oblivious to the weight of confession but she professed her love for me, kissed me wet on the lips, and insisted on painting the rest of her nails watermelon pink. I like to believe that we were able to hit reset tonight in a lot of ways.

I’m praying that the Lord would change my heart and allow me to love being a mother. I’m closer today than last week and I believe there will be a million steps before the journey turns into an empty nest. I hope these words don’t put fear in your heart or cause concern for my mental health. But if you can relate in anyway, or if there comes a day when you find yourself in similar tar, please know you are not alone. My prayer for you is that you would have a great measure of faith – not just for your children’s lives – but for the life of your mothering heart.

100 Things I Love About My Husband!

2009-07-10T09:52:00.006-05:00

Today marks exactly five years of marriage to the most amazing man I know! On July 10th, 2004, I got to marry my best friend, my hero, and the greatest leader I could have asked for. In honor of the past five years, here is a list of 100 Things I Love About Brad Thompson:

1. 1. 1. He fixes our car problems by himself, saving us hundreds.
2. He doesn’t mind changing dirty diapers.
3. His hazel green eyes.
4. The way he teaches our kids about nature.
5. His willingness to lay in bed and listen to me talk at night.
6. How he often sends me text messages of his love for me.
7. His bravery at trying new things.
8. His love for Chinese food.
9. The way he holds my hand.
10. He can’t get enough of snuggling with our kids.
11. His crazy desire for a lot…and I mean a lot…of kids.
12. He insists I never mow the grass.
13. He loves home improvement.
14. How much he’s grown in communication since we met.
15. His deep and irrational love for people.
16. His commitment to the Lord, especially when things are tough.
17. He quit his job when the future was totally unknown.
18. He excels at his job.
19. His obsession with music.
20. He doesn’t mind driving the whole time on road trips.
21. The random bouquets of flowers “just because”
22. He protects me when our kids show any disrespect.
23. How he trusts me with spending money.
24. His brilliant ideas.
25. He has our “month-iversary” set on his calendar every month.
26. His huge dreams for our future.
27. He plays “tiger” every night with our kids after dinner.
28. He spills coffee on himself EVERY time he drinks it.
29. He talks in his sleep.
30. How he’s willing to take advice from my dad.
31. His wisdom in purchasing cars.
32. His ability to forgive people who don’t deserve to be forgiven.
33. He eats ice cream with a plastic spoon.
34. How he holds me when I cry.
35. The way he puts his hand on my knee when he drives.
36. His laugh. OH, he has the best laugh!
37. His commitment to me when I don’t deserve it.
38. His relationship with his mom – he really loves her.
39. His addiction to candy.
40. He sings really loud when he worships.
41. He drives a really old car so I can have a great minivan.
42. He pays our bills on time.
43. *password protected*
44. His favorite shows – Brothers & Sisters and 30Rock.
45. He takes amazing pictures of our kids.
46. He dances when listening to rock music in the car.
47. He rarely complains about being sick.
48. He always gets frozen vanilla yogurt.
49. He’s a really good friend.
50. He’s always looking for an opportunity to serve.
51. He likes to watch The Bachelorette.
52. He is an undercover ninja.
53. He wants to collect VW Beetles when he gets old.
54. He loves starting new things…AND,
55. He is so good at finishing the things he starts.
56. He has all necessary characteristics for being a dad:
57. His tender but firm love for our kids.
58. He disciplines when it’s not convenient or easy.
59. He’s willing to wear princess crowns when playing with Zoë.
60. And gets on all fours when teaching Colby how to push cars.
61. He makes Zoë scrambled eggs for breakfast.
62. He snuggles with Zoë before she gets out of bed.
63. He frequently verbally affirms Colby!
64. He knows a LOT about the Bible but always wants to know more.
65. He would give me anything I ask for.
66. He’s not given up on ministry.
67. *password protected*
68. He finishes my food at restaurants.
69. He doesn’t mind being wrong about stuff. ;-)
70. He picked out the engagement ring of my dreams.
71. He drinks boxed wine…in a plastic tumbler…with ice…and a straw.
72. His long-term plan involves living on the coast.
73. He insists on me pursuing my dreams.
74. He has super hot athletic legs.
75. He lets me have a mommy’s night out anytime I need it.
76. He takes the trash out every week.
77. His nickname is B-Rad Shizzle.
78. He has a burden for the sex-slaves around the world.
79. He believes in the impossible and hopes for it.
80. He eats anything I put in front of him. And I mean anything.
81. He’s obsessed with vacuuming & bought an Oreck to prove it.
82. He has never yelled at me or our kids.
83. He is really good at back rubs.
84. He’s willing to take risks with our lives.
85. He was so serene during our at-home childbirths.
86. He asks good questions when I’m processing something.
87. He has never had to replace his wedding band.
88. He grooms his fingernails (no buffing) on the front porch. Ha.
89. I love him because we’ll both be in the same place for eternity.
90. He likes supporting independent movies & musicians.
91. He’s been a better friend to me than I could imagine in a husband.
92. He likes Macs instead of PCs.
93. I think he’s going to look cute with grey hair.
94. He’s really good at picking out baby names for our kids.
95. He is super skilled at making posters & other advertisements.
96. He reads the Drudge Report instead of CNN.com
97. He would prefer a salad over a bacon cheeseburger.
98. *password protected*
99. He’s usually the first one to apologize and ask for forgiveness.
100. And the thing I love most about him: he loves me extravagantly.

I just LOVE saving money!

2009-06-29T15:45:00.004-05:00

After a couple recommendations from friends, I signed up for a trial of Grocery Game for $1. I realized quickly, after just four weeks, that I could easily do this myself. The time I spend clipping coupons and browsing on-line grocery ads and circulars is well worth the money we save at the grocery store. Let me share a few tips & my experience from today:

1. The Sunday paper is available for *free* at TCU every week. We stop by campus on the way home from church or Brad brings one home on Monday so we don't spend the $2.00 it would cost each week.

2. Making sure I'm not hungry, I pull out the advertisement section of the paper along with coupons and discard the extra paper to feel more organized & calm. Find a large table or desk. Start by setting aside each coupon page you think you'll use (not cutting with scissors yet) and go through all coupons, relatively quickly.

3. After discarding unnecessary coupons, I tackle the coupon pile once more, cutting out each one with scissors AND doing two things:

Re-evaluate its usefulness. HINT: Just because it's a good coupon, does not mean it's a good deal. Are you already planning on buying this product? Maybe hot dogs are already on your list so a coupon for Ballpark Franks is perfect!
Read the fine print. For example, today, I found myself re-reading a 75¢ coupon for brownie mix. Great, right? Here's the catch: you have to buy two (like a lot of coupons) but you also had to buy two boxes of Supreme brownie mix. We don't like the Supreme styles so this would have actually wasted a few dollars, rather than save us money!!

4. Organize coupons by categories like: frozen, meats, sauces/condiments, home (paper towel, toilet paper, cleaning supplies, etc), health & beauty, etc. This will help you in step number 5.

5. Go through each weekly ad/grocery story ad. These include: Kroger, Albertsons, Tom Thumb, CVS, Walgreens, Wal-Mart, and Target. HINT: Make sure the ad is current. Also, visit each website where the most current weekly ad is available. I would highly suggest reading the text and not looking at the pictures, as you will specifically identify what you need, and not what you WANT. Advertisers score when you make a decision based on packaging & presentation, not actual necessity.

6. Make a list, by grocery stores, of items to purchase. I like to type it in an email to myself so it prints off easily. I also like to include the advertised price and if I have coupons. It also helps me remember in case I'm at one store and see a good deal but want to compare to another location. Here's what my list looked like this morning:

Tom Thumb - you can see the list above of the three items I needed. First of all, Ballpark Franks are normally $3.99 per package but were on sale for 99¢ each. That's a great deal alone BUT there was a coupon for $1.00 off two packages. So I saved a total of $7.00 on two packages of hot dogs and spent just $0.99!!! Then, 75 feet of Reynolds aluminum foil was on special for $3.00, marked down from $4.49. With a $1.00 off coupon, I saved another $2.49. With two other items (tea bags & hot dog buns), my grand total, including tax was $6.93. I saved $10.79 in just ONE trip to a store to buy just five items!! That's a savings of 61%.

And, finally, we took a trip to Wal-Mart, where prices are lowest but coupons don't double or triple so I save all my coupons that are more than 50¢. I used eight coupons to save a grand total of $10.46. Check the prices of other stores on your list while you're in Wal-Mart because they're often lower than sale prices. Like today, I had cereal & ice cream on my CVS list, but at Wal-Mart each item was actually cheaper - I could compare because I had the prices written down - so it saved me a trip to another store with two kids in tow!!

Grand Savings: $21.25 in just two hours, two stores!! Wooohooo!!

Facebook, I rebuke thee!

2009-06-13T11:06:00.002-05:00

Do you find yourself ever thinking in Facebook?

I had just pulled clean bed sheets out of the dryer and was walking back to our room with an armful of warm linens, giving off that fresh aroma we all know & love. Something about it reminds me of Home. Instead of actually enjoying the moment, I found myself thinking how I could word my thoughts as a Facebook status. Utterly ridiculous.

Then I realize that a lot of my thoughts, reflections, epiphanies, and whatevers often make their way through my head as a status. Or a blog idea. Somehow, I started believing that communication involved online networks and websites. I can pride myself in the number of views to my blog or how many people I connect with through Facebook but it's alarming to me how these things are replacing community. Friendships. Heartbeats and tears as we share life with our closest bff's.

We've convinced ourselves as a Facebook community that we are connected to people based on their profiles. We check off our "I'm a good friend" box when we write on someone's wall, view their posts, or peruse their photo albums.

I currently have 463 "friends" on Facebook. Out of those 463:

I have 27 of those friends' phone numbers stored in my cell phone. That's only 5.8%

There are at least 150 people I haven't talked to in more than 10 years. (Two high schools.)

I would be completely embarrassed to tell you how much time I spend on Facebook each day. I've been deeply convicted about ignoring my children to check my notifications. I've wasted time flipping through photo albums of people I've never met just because one friend was tagged in one picture. This could seriously be addiction. Hello, my name is Heather and I'm a Facebook-aholic. Anyone want to be my sponsor?

We like to downplay this atrocity by laughing and making jokes about its pull. I had a friend recently post a status that said he was "bored with Facebook." I often see statuses reflecting guilt for not "doing something" because they were consumed with FB. Isn't this something deep inside of us crying out to get away from our computers or phones (whatever your medium) and hit REALITY with our lives?! When did we become okay with wasting our time? When did I become okay with wasting my life - my children's life - my home life - so that Facebook could get an extra minute (or hour) of my time?

Now, there are definitely things I appreciate about FB: I have lots of friends who have moved to other states and countries and their profiles give me the opportunity to stay connected to their lives. I miss them all and appreciate seeing their kids, their homes, and updates. However, the album will still be there, I can see all statuses in a few day's time, and they will still be my friends if a week goes by without seeing their profile.

I've been contemplating breaking away from Facebook in order to gain perspective. Let's consider it a FB Cleanse. Time to get the bad stuff out so the good stuff can take hold. Time to realize that words on a screen are not friendships. And time to give the best of my day without logging in or signing in.

Our Anniversary Trip

2009-06-08T13:32:00.003-05:00

We just came back from a 4-day trip to Austin for our 5th anniversary. We had an incredible time and to help remind us of our time away, here are a few highlights!

First, a big thanks to Brad's mom, Janet, for watching our kids. We have never left both of them for more than one night so this was a big deal for everyone. Janet did a great job at keeping them laughing and covering them with love and affection. And she let the kids pick out a new fish - Jonah - a blue betta that adds some color to our kitchen. We miss Gigi already!

Day 1: Thursday morning we headed down to Austin and checked in to the newly renovated Courtyard by Marriott. We had an expanded king-size room and the travel size shampoo & conditioner were the best - one of my top ways of rating a hotel. Definitely two thumbs up from the Thompsons.

We had dinner at P.F. Changs and then headed to see "Angels & Demons," the latest Dan Brown novel to hit the big screen. Some of my favorite books and definitely one of my favorite movies. Again, two thumbs up from the Thompsons.

Day 2: After breakfast at the local Whole Foods market, we headed to Ikea, where we roamed and picked out some items for our newly renovated bathrooms. Two mirrors, framed art, and a shower curtain were loaded into the back of our van as we made our way to the Premium Outlets. Being disappointed by the selection of stores, we spontaneously went to another movie - Land of the Lost - where we laughed like kids and drank Coke out of a collectors cup. It only cost $4.50 and came with a free refill!!

Thanks to a suggestion from our pastor's wife, Lisa Young, we headed to the Hula Hut on Lake Austin for a late lunch/early dinner (lunner? dinch?). We ate enormous tacos & enchiladas, enjoyed the best queso ever, and drank some kind of rum punch for two. Dee-lish.

There was a Marie Callender restaurant & bakery across from the hotel so we headed over there for late-night dessert. We bought a WHOLE blueberry pie and took it back to the hotel room. I'd like to say we killed it, but that would be embarrasing.

Day 3: Saturday morning lunch at the hotel was free so we ate some yummy food, drank really good coffee, and then headed down to the SoCo, a stretch on South Congress that's populated with vintage boutiques, quirky shops, and an empty lot full of hand-made jewelry booths and recycled clothes for both adults & kids. I found a cute bohemian-style skirt for just $10 and love it already. So cool.

Hey Cupcake! serves amazing cupcakes out of trailer so we picked some up for a "some time later" treat. We felt like we were on a food tour of the city, eating every three hours in amounts suitable for big foot. We joked all weekend about needing a barf bag. Sorry if that's too much information but it gives you an idea how much we ate.

Lunch at the Olive Garden made me ready for a nap so we snoozed back at the hotel. For our last night in Austin, we celebrated at The Cheesecake Factory. Brad ate his signature order, Steak Diane, and I tried something new: Herb Crusted Salmon with asparagus and garlic mashed potatoes. I had a Bikini Martini and we took two slices of cheesecake back to the hotel: chocolate chip cookie dough and white chocolate raspberry. Divine, if you ask me.

We splurged on a pay-per-view movie that night and watched "Sunshine Cleaning" which made us happy and love films that sport a good ending and great acting. It should be out on DVD soon, and we would both highly recommend it.

Day 4: We checked out of the hotel and headed back towards UT where Guadalupe Street lead us to a bakery called Texas French Bread. We got some loaves as gifts and prided ourselves in finding another whole-in-the-wall place. We were a little sad to leave behind the city but were eager to see our kiddos.

This is a very long description and really, more for me & Brad, than for your reading pleasure. Some people might think how we spent our trip was lame & boring but let me share with you a little secret: when you have two children, the best vacation means sleeping in & staying up late, eating at nice restaurants without leaving crumbs on the floor, going to a movie in a theater, and being spontaneous. No seat belts to buckle, diaper bags to remember, or attitudes to adjust. Just a husband and a wife, two best friends remembering why we got married and how insanely lucky we both are.

Love you, B-Rad. You are my favorite thing EVER.

Garage Sale Revelation

2009-05-31T22:16:00.002-05:00

After a very successful garage sale, we loaded our unsold items into the back of the van and headed to a consignment shop. Hoping to make even a couple bucks, I dropped off about ten items for them to price & make an offer. As the busy Saturday afternoon had them backed up, we headed to our favorite lunch spot for chicken nuggets and Sprite. I returned 30 minutes later and roamed the store, checking price tags to better estimate the offer I was about to receive. They called my name and when I walked up to the counter, I was told the following:

"We're declining all your items due to the clothes being more than a year old, and the styles being too mature."

I respond with a bubbly "Okay, thanks" but exited with a self-pity frown in my heart. They could have offered me a dollar for all items and I would have been thrilled. "Too mature"? Ouch. Granted, there were several items I had worn in high school and I hadn't worn anything since pre-Brad (2003), but I thought Gap jeans were timeless. Someone rummaging through the Goodwill racks will be pleased with my donations but I found myself chewing on the experience this morning during worship.

God showed me how He takes our battered, rusty, and broken leftovers and responds quite contrary to the logic of the human heart. I saw this provoking picture of how my soul was approached by Savior without much hope for a purpose or a future. Our culture tells us that we're just like those used clothes - old, irrelevant, without the right style or fit for Someone of significance. It would only "make sense" for us to be rejected by those who make us think their apparel has been deemed valuable and therefore, fit for service.

But God takes the donation - the gift, the sacrifice, the very ordinary offering - with wholehearted joy and acceptance and then places those items in the "Neiman Marcus" of His kingdom. He places price tags on our calling, our personality, our abilities and says they are beyond value. He displays our used and abused, our old age or our inexperience, our lacking or our over-qualification in a room with benches, where people can roam around us like a museum. Art deserves to be displayed. Beauty must received its recognition. The Glory of God is bright shining when we are admired as His redemption.

Jesus, redeem not only our souls but the very garments that make us who we are. Take what we believe is unusable and make it purposeful. Swirl your creative powers around the ugly, torn, and worn places of our heart and make us radiant, as we wear the priestly, royal robe of Jesus.

Zoe & Colby Update

2009-05-22T13:05:00.012-05:00

Zoë Faith will be four(4!) in August. I have several moments throughout the day when I just stare at her face, hair, or legs and find myself amazed at how she's growing. She is beautiful. Kind. Highly intuitive to people's needs. She insists on drinking out of cups that are dry on the outside. She is willing to try any kind of food. She says most words correctly but still says stuff like "crockoach" for cockroach and "chicken-layf" for Chick-fil-A.

Her favorite things right now are dinosaurs. She saw some kind of show at my parents' house(Dinosapian?) and we promptly visited the library and checked out a stack of books. She reads them in bed every night and asks questions like "Do dinosaurs yawn?" and "Do dinosaurs go potty?" She is brilliant!

We entered the "why?" phase about a month ago. I was literally thinking to myself one afternoon Maybe we'll just bypass that "why?" phase parents always talk about. God knew my patience, selflessness, and intelligence would all need some improvement. It started about five days later.

At a recent seminar we learned about delaying children's formal education and focusing on work ethic and things like gardening, sewing, baking, cleaning, and cooking. While we had been preparing to teach Zoë to read, we have changed our focus to more important things - being a girl of character, learning how to love & take care of others, and discovering the greatness of Christ.

She serves her family by making beds, emptying the silverware basket, and helping mom wipe the counters. She's involved in anything that results in cupcakes!

Now on to Colby Man! What a little bundle of mischief and love! He turns 17 months today which means 1.5 years is just a few weeks away! I think time must warp more and more with each kid. It goes by so quickly!

Colby learned to walk pretty early so he's the resident expert when it comes to speed and agility. He moves fast around corners and especially to escape from big sister. We bought him size 6.5 WIDE tennis shoes a few weeks ago and he is putting them to good use. He gets all kind of compliments and attention from strangers when we run errands - they just love his big blue eyes!

His love language is touch so he will regularly just come over and put his head on my lap, pat Zoë's shoulder, or succumb to sleep by snuggling & cuddling. Brad and I appreciate his spontaneous affection.

He waves hello and goodbye to everyone, blows kisses, and has mastered shaking his head "no" as we try to guess what he wants. He wants to talk so desperately when words like "dada," "mama," "dat," and "row" (roll) don't communicate very much.

I just finished up a book called "Boys and Girls Learn Differently" and was so relieved to have someone explain the differences. While Zoë had dozens of words by this age, Colby has a small list. Did you know that a girl's vocabulary is 99% comprehensible by the age of 3 while a boy's vocabulary doesn't reach that level of comprehension until 4-4.5?! More than a year difference!! (If you have a firstborn girl, you need to know this if you have a boy come along...)

Zoë and Colby are each others' best friend. I like to believe this will last forever - they'll always be our first two kids, they will watch us learn how to parent boys and girls, and laugh at our struggles in raising more than one. I love seeing them advocate for one another, carry amazing levels of sympathy - Colby cries if he accidently witnesses Zoë's spankings, and learn the "one another" at early ages. Sharing is most of the time difficult, hitting happens, and they usually think yelling or tattle-telling is the best way to resolve conflict. They will each serve a purpose in our family, community, and the Kingdom - where no one else would find success.

They are created in the image of God. They have eternity in their hearts. They are vessels of the Good News. They have beautiful feet and they are seated at the right hand of God. They will follow Jesus when it's easy & say "yes" to Him even when it's hard. They are my iron: sharpening, challenging, and pushing me to refinement. And I love them with a depth that only Christ can carve.

An Affair & An Apology

2009-05-06T15:01:00.005-05:00

First, my apologies for letting nearly three months go before updating the blog! I am still functioning in the cyber world but have neglected this site. Forgive me, dear blog, forgive me.

Let me share with you a journey that started just a few months ago regarding our children & their education. I've been wrestling with the idea of home schooling for about a year or two. When we were pregnant with Zoe we felt strong conviction to send her to public school. Brad and I had great public school experiences and I couldn't (sometimes still can't) imagine myself as a mom being at home with all our kids, all day. I admit: I have been long looking forward to the day when I could send one onto the school bus and have a lesser load to carry for seven hours.

< God has His way with Heather's heart and plans. >

I have started reading like crazy about home schooling & education. I have an insatiable thirst for all things regarding how children learn best. How boys learn. How girls learn. Brad is loving my affair with books because it's increasing my authority as a mom & leader in the house. He is trusting me more as I show responsibility & humility and lay my opinions & fears aside.

It is NEVER too early to start preparing & researching for your child's education.

If you are going to send them to public or private school - GREAT! Just make sure YOU are making the decision, not the state, not your friends, and not your experience. If you are thinking about home schooling, challenge your motives and get advice from moms who have been doing it! I had a serious reality check when a mom describe her home-schooling journey as one that lasted 24 years. Geez, does that come with a retirement plan & benefits?

Here are my recommendations if you are not sure where to start:

1. Pray & surrender to God. He is the best teacher & educator and He certainly knows your child the best. Entrust the future and your plans to God as if you were a complete fool with no wisdom or intelligence about you.

2. Start reading. Below is my book recommendation list for now. I have another pile sitting by the front door that I got from the library. (P.S. All moms must have a library card & use it regularly!)

Here's a breakdown of how often I would suggest reading a book, based on your child's age:

birth - 1 year: Read one book on the subject before their first birthday.

1 year - 2 years: one book every 6 months (that's only two a year!!)

2 years - 3 years: at least one book every 4 months

3 years - 5 years: read up on the subject every two months

By the age of five, you will have read a ton of books & will be very well informed!

3. Ask questions. Lots and lots of questions. Talk to moms who send their kids to private school. Ask how they are learning, what they are learning, and about the overall experience. Ask a mom who does homeschooling to join her for a morning. Learn while your child is in the car seat & you will be ready when they are tying their shoelaces.

4. www.CaroleJoySeid.com. Visit this website and listen to the radio interview. We went to her seminar last month and our lives have been turned upside down. Our home life has taken a 180 degree turn and we have seen:

- behavior improvement in Zoe

- creativity and desire for reading

- a level of peace and tranquility in the home I had no idea was missing

Books:

Home Sweet Homeschool, Sue Maakestad

Better Late Than Early: A New Approach to Your Child's Education, Raymond S. and Dorothy N Moore

Boys & Girls Learn Differently! A Guide for Teachers and Parents, Michael Gurian

The Organized Home Schooler, Vicki Caruana

School Can Wait, Raymond S. Moore and Dorothy N. Moore

...more to come!

Date Night Idea

2009-01-13T14:55:00.004-06:00

Okay, ladies, I firmly believe we need to be intentional with our husbands and frequently plan date nights. Brad and I don't have a regularly schedule night of the week or month where we get out and reconnect so it forces some creativity. Here is my latest plot & how I incorporated practicals and avoided complications.

1. Spontaneity. Yesterday morning I saw an advertisement for the premier of American Idol. Thought it would make a great excuse for a date night. Pick your favorite show to watch together or a new movie release and you have a theme for the night. (Movies are just $1 at your local Redbox for a 24-hour rental. TV shows are free.) I hadn't even thought about doing this until 10am so you can do it anytime.

2. I initiated. I sent my hubby a free Evite.com invitation that matched the theme of American Idol. Found a red carpet invite and sent it to him...saying things like "join me on the red carpet," and started with clue #1: "I" must have you as my date tonight. The "I" refers to Idol...You could use the following to jump start your idea:

Grey's Anatomy: My skies will be gray without you, use medical references and play a game during commercials (Operation), drop the word "seriously" as often as you can all day.

Lost: use an island theme or dazed/confused theme, create a maze on paper and give it to him in the morning before he leaves for work.

(Email me if you're having a hard time with a show or movie theme and I'll help you out!)

3. Planned ahead with kids. I made sure Colby took an early nap and Zoe just played in her room instead of sleeping so they'd be extra tired and able to go down a little early. If you don't already have your kids going to bed at 8:00pm or earlier, I'd highly recommend it...for the sake of your marriage.

4. Little, inexpensive options for the date night. The judges always have huge red cups on the table so I picked some up from Wal-Mart ($1.50 for 4 tumblers) and some coke. I got a mini-cheesecake for those "cheesy contestants."

4. Clues throughout the day. Clue #2: I sent Brad an email with a poem I'd written about him picking something up on his way home from work. (In this case, a bottle of rum because he loves strawberry daquiries.) Clue #3: Sent him a text message using the phrase "try-outs" in keeping with tonight's show.

Dad, if you're reading this, please stop.

5. Planned on sex. Yep, I said it. The flirtation throughout the day made me anticipate being with Brad and excited about a night together. I had to get my mind and emotions in the game all day long and it blesses him when I'm intentional. (BTW, if you can, find or make a sexy costume in keeping with your theme.)

I had a blast with this. My budget was limited and the last minute forced some resourcing but we had a great time!

I'll have Brad write on here about how he felt about the whole thing.

If you do something similar, post what you did on my comments and share any more ideas you have. Let's help each other be the best wives ever! Happy Planning, ladies!!

Zoe Quote

2009-01-05T14:25:00.004-06:00

Zoe had been in the bathroom for quite some while. I knew she was going #2 but she is usually a "get 'er done" kinda girl when it comes to using the toilet. I quickly opened the door (element of surprise) to find her scrambling to replace the bubble bath.

I walked over to find the bright pink, strawberry flavored solution covering her "business." Slightly frustrated and mostly humored, I asked "Zoe, why did you do that?"

To which she honestly and innocently replied:

"Cause the toilet stank."

Brilliant, indeed, my three-year old is brilliant.

Moving On

2009-01-03T20:19:00.002-06:00

It seems odd to me that moving on from one place to another can be such a difficult process. Odd, that as creatures of nomadic instinct and insatiability, we would find it deeply unsettling to move. I’m not sure if “we” refers to women or to wives or moms or perhaps the entire human race but I’m learning something about change that would not have been gained from moving on.

When faced with even a hint of movement, several things stir within the human soul. Fear. Excitement. Anticipation. Hope. It’s as though we’ve never experienced change or movement or progression in our whole existence. As if we never stopped drinking from a bottle to start enjoying the mess of big-kid cups. As if we never graduated from one grade to another, and another and another. As if marrying the love of your life didn’t bring a world of change, growth, and transition.

But, nonetheless, we struggle to identify all the swirls of emotion and thoughts and most of all: the implications. Now let me transition to first person to make this honest and certainly vulnerable.

I had feared change for such a long time. I mean really feared the change. Not so much a: “whoa, this could be interesting,” but a “holy #*@$!, this could be %*&@# hard and bad and I am certainly not up for this right now.” (I told you I would be honest.) In the midst of the journey, there was not clarity or foresight and there was definitely not an easy path or an easy answer. There were all kinds of strings that had taken strong bind over each corner of my being. Little had I realized that those strings had turned into ropes and fused into iron links. I was walking with weight and restriction. Maybe not so much walking but just swaying back and forth, giving the idea of movement but actually not getting anywhere. I was shocked at the fear that was exposed in me and especially the fear of man that made me think some pretty funky ideas.

Thankfully, I have a great husband who tends to get through things a few steps before me and make the path a little more distinct. He could see. He knew. He had the smallest amount of hope that it would be better on the other side. It was his mustard seed that would move my mountain.

So we decided. We made hundreds of itsy bitsy baby steps that were simply in the right direction. We sacrificed. We let go of places that held our identity and our security. We surrendered our comfort and our wills and our safety. We searched for the exit door that was behind dozens of dark corners and hidden staircases and walked through it. We had been told it didn’t exist and made to believe that if it did, the other side would only promise uncertain fields and unmarked skies. As our hand pushed the handle closed, it would take a whole new level of faith to turn around. Staring at a closed door is often more comforting than turning to see the new environment.

Let me say this: I’ve left the details of our movement very vague because well, just because. It’s these more recent moves and changes that put the most glorious light into the days before us. I’m putting my confidence in the days before me, the virgin mornings that haven’t been lived, and the pure evenings that will hold my most meaningful investments of love, mercy, and justice.

My God is making all things new.

Our Christmas Video Card

2008-12-12T09:57:00.001-06:00

Send your own ElfYourself eCards

The Dresser!

2008-12-10T16:41:00.013-06:00

Well, I have officially decoupaged for the first time EVER. Some of you saw the previous note about the dresser I found on Craig's List for a whopping $10 so here it is:

Before: Four-drawer dresser, white & ugly!

During: It got a chocolate brown base coat.

And, VOILA, the finished product:

Here is a breakdown of the cost:

Dresser: $10 / CraigsList

New Knobs: $17.52 (8 @ 2.19 each) / Target

Paint: found quart I already had / garage

Paper: $5.40 (18 sheets @ $0.30/sheet) / on Sale at Hobby Lobby

Mod Podge matte finish: $5.99 / Hobby Lobby

Shelf Liner: $5.99 / Target

Total Cost: $44.90

Potential Savings: could have found cheaper or bulk knobs. Hobby Lobby paper savings was spectacular but I could have waited until the Mod Podge went on sale. And I could have opted for a different shelf liner, purchased it from Wal-Mart and maybe saved $1-2.

Ode to Craig's List

2008-11-13T12:23:00.007-06:00

Our digital camera is not working (and hasn't for about a month) so I've hesitated to write lately. The two ideas for blogging have required photos to make the best impact but the blog is getting seriously outdated so I'm going to write now, adding stock photos I found online to give you an idea of what I'm describing.

After Denver, I decided to start browsing Craig's List to find some local treasures. Also known as JUNK. I have been blown away by the finds:

1. Three Dresser Drawer for Colby's Room. $10. I promise, the one I bought is not nearly as pretty and needs a new coat of paint and some decoupage-ing.

2. 8 cans of baby formula from a local mom. At $5 per can (normally $11-12 at Wal-Mart), we fed Colby for half-price last month. I'll admit, this was the sketchiest purchase but the mom was totally normal and had a 13-month old who had transitioned to milk.

3. Double Jogger. I've been wanting to get out and walk (maybe run, ha) with the kids so I've been dreaming about a double jogger, where the kids sit side-by-side. Found it. Burleson for $40. This is a STEAL, for anyone who tracts these. Now, please keep in mind that ours is USED, slightly faded and the brake doesn't work.

4. We sold our dining room table & chairs for $225 to a guy who lives in north Dallas. He picked up and hauled away the first piece of furniture the Thompsons bought four years ago.

5. Two-drawer filing cabinets for $5 each! They are rusted but work great so with a can of metal primer & aqua blue spray paint, I'll have a very shabby-chic home filing system!

6. This week, I came across a 12-bin toy organizer shelf thingy. The bins on ours are light blue, dark blue, green, and red so it's perfect for Colby's room or maybe the playroom. We'll see!

Craig's List allows you to avoid the following:

1. eBay shipping, auctioning, etc.

2. Sales Tax!

3. The whole consumer-driven economy of mass-produced everything!

At the worth-while cost of:

1. Driving sometimes long distances.

2. The risk of seeing it in person but not liking it (hasn't happened yet).

3. Finding something online that's already been sold.

I'm a JUNKIE and I'm LOVING it!

For Wives Only

2008-10-09T16:29:00.002-05:00

Though I'm quite sure there will be husbands and single men and women reading this blog, I do have some encouragement for us wives. Isn't it sweet how God speaks to us in the most routine activities?

With both kids asleep and the house in decent order, I decided to take a bath this afternoon at 3:30. I can't remember the last time I had such quiet surrounding me. Especially in the middle of a weekday. Anyway, I realized my legs were in dire need of shaving so I began the arduous task and immediately heard the Lord ask me: "How often do you shave for your husband?" Um, yeah, so the length of the hair is probably some indication but I instantly realized it was certainly more about my heart than my legs. Thus began the gentle list of questions:

How often do I make my husband's favorite meal? (Do I know what it is?)
Is my house more in order for guests than my own husband & family?
Do I wear more make-up and hair product for play dates (church, work, etc) than for my husband?
Is my weight loss motivated by my husband's delight or my selfish vanity?
Are my words the most kind to first my husband, and then my kids, and then others? Or is it the other way around?
How often do I smile at my husband?

I heard this story where a family built the most extravagant mansion with all the finest materials. They filled the first floor with expensive decorations, furniture, and upscale design. They could entertain and impress the richest of folk. However, if you made your way upstairs, you would discover empty rooms, bare walls, and incomplete construction. The house was simply a facade of wealth, the rooms downstairs created to impress strangers & outsiders, while the upstairs was in disrepair.

As a wife, I want my most treasured efforts to be first for my husband and then for my kids. I want the wealth of God's kingdom, the depths of grace and kindness, and the beauty and appreciation of life to be wasted on my husband. To spend all of myself on his honor, his standing, and to live for his success. To exhaust myself on my children's understanding of God and their love for people and bringing justice to broken places.

Brad and I are building a house together. On a foundation of truth and righteousness, pillars of integrity and character surround us. A lot of this responsibility is mine, a gift from God to create a home where my family flourishes. In fact, that was part of the commit I made to Brad on our wedding day. I hope the woman Brad married more than four years ago is more pleasing, attractive, and generous today than in July of 2004.

Let's give our best to our husbands.

A New Way of Living

2008-09-28T20:24:00.002-05:00

Yesterday was the single best day of my life. It surpassed my wedding day, and even the births of both my kids. In fact, if you combined the bliss of each of those events into one bubbly day, it would be half of yesterday's experience. Let me explain:

1. Received free piece of furniture. For those ladies who can relate to building a home on a limited budget, anything *free* is the best. Especially, a practical piece that can be updated for the cost of new knobs & a quart of paint.

2. Family loads into car and drives to Log Cabin Village on University. "Day in the District" opened the doors of all Fort Worth museums to the public for *free* all day Saturday. Thinking Picasso & Monet would be boring to my toddlers, we ventured to the outdoor log cabins, listened to ol' timey music, stared thankfully at 250 square foot homes that housed 8-10 people, and smelled fresh rosemary. We then ate apple cobbler & IBC rootbeer. The bliss of olden days.

3. Picked beans & peas at Gnismer Farms in Arlington. This organic farm produces fruits and vegetables while opening its gate to the public for picking of things such as strawberries & blackberries (out of season), tomatoes, red bell peppers, swiss chard, and more. Zoe ran up and down the rows of greens, picking random vegetables out of the dirt and ate them raw. We walked away with the next evening's side dishes in bags, proud of accomplishing more than a trip to Wal-Mart.

4. Lunch at Cracker Barrel. In keeping with the day's theme, we set out for another old fashioned experience and found ourselves sitting in Cracker Barrel, eating robust meals & laughing a lot as a family. Colby munched on baby carrots, Zoe devoured biscuits, and Brad and I just enjoyed our family.

Our phones didn't ring much, we may not have accomplished many tasks, and there might have been dirt in the veggies Zoe ate but we lived yesterday. My daughter saw a part of creation that usually goes unnoticed and hopefully feels more thankful for her modern toys & spacious bedroom. I reconnected with my husband through quiet and simplicity, rather than entertainment and escape.

What a great day.

Email Forward!

2008-09-25T16:33:00.002-05:00

So, here is one of those random surveys, done by blog, rather than email! Enjoy a little insight into my life!

1. What is your occupation right now? Part-time patient rep at CareNow, full-time mom & "household manager."

2. What color are your socks right now? I'm sporting a french pedicure.

3. What are you listening to right now? Bailey chewing a bone, Zoe mumbling to herself, and the fan wizzing.

4. What was the last thing you ate? A snickers bar with Zoe & Colby.

5. Can you drive a stick shift? Oh YES! Learned on my first car, a Geo Prism. I was hot stuff.

6. Last person you spoke to on the phone? My husband. My own & only. My beloved. B-Rad shiznit.

7. Do you like the person who sent this to you? Well, certainly, all three of them! (Carmen, Jordan, and Joni)

8. How old are you today? 28 years, and 25 days! Whoohooo late twenties!

9. What is your favorite sport to watch on TV? Um, prolly America's Next Top Model. Those girls must work up a sweat under those hot cameras.

10. What is your favorite drink? "Hot Mama" from Eskimo Hut, the drive-through daquiri joint off Vickery.

11. Have you ever dyed your hair? Only temporary Clairol Natural Instincts. Last time was 1.5 years ago.

12. Favorite food? I'm modifying this question: Mexican? Sour cream enchiladas. Chinese? Cashew Chicken from Empress. Italian: Pasta Milano from Macaroni Grill.

13. What is the last movie you watched? In the theater: Dark Knight. Rented: Sex & the City.

14. Favorite day of the year? This one is SO hard.....pass.

15. How do you vent anger? I close my eyes and imagine the wind blowing in my face. J/K. I don't get angry much these days but I do enjoy slamming a door every now and then.

16. What was your favorite toy as a child? The mini-trampoline in our basement.

17. What is your favorite season? Autumn/Fall/Harvest Season. Mmmm, I can smelled the spiced cider now...

18. Cherries or blueberries? Marachino cherries. Sunk on the bottom of a glass full of cold coca cola.

19. Do you want your friends to email you back? Not an option for a blog.

20. Who is the most likely to respond? Besides those already, probably Stefanie Rohman.

21. Who is the least likely? Either my mom or dad.

22. Living arrangements? I mean, my sofa is at a 90 degree angle from my loveseat. Currently, I have five roommates, not counting cockroaches: Brad, Zoe, Colby, Sadie, and Bailey.

23. When was the last time you cried? At steffie-poo's wedding this past weekend.

24. What is on the floor of your closet? Um, a hanger, old pillow, old maternity clothes, and other items.

25. Who is the friend you have had the longest that you are sending to? N/A.

26. What did you do last night? Worked until 10:30pm and then slept.

27. What are you most afraid of? Something happening to my kids.

28. Plain, cheese, or spicy hamburgers? First, this is an odd question. Cheese, for sho.

29. Favorite dog breed? Shed-less, barkless, potty-trained mutt.

30. Favorite day of the week? One where I get to sleep in past 7am, spend all day with my family, and then finish it with cheesecake.

31. How many states have you lived in? Four: Michigan, Colorado, New Mexico, and Texas.

32. Diamonds or pearls? Diaaaamonds.

33. What is your favorite flower? Red roses.

These are a Few of My Favorite Things

2008-09-17T18:18:00.007-05:00

In this season of spiritual revival and renewal, I am rediscovering a few old things and making the acquaintance of some new things. These are just a handful of my favorite things these days:

I have been drinking *mostly* diet drinks lately (almost 20 pounds lost!) but this one tops them all! Frosty cold, it's like going on a shopping spree in a candy store.

Speaking of drinks, this is my favorite wine. Wine is quite the overstatement as it's labeled "dessert wine" (aka how much sugar can dissolve in grape juice?) but for $5.99 a bottle, it's perfect!

Since we got married in 2004, we have gone through three vacuums, not including one borrowed and one mini sweeper. We took the plunge a few weeks ago and bought a blue Oreck vacuum cleaner. Not just any dirt-picker upper but an intense and highly effective one. We got $200 off by promising to bring them our three old ones, which will get donated to a local women's shelter after a little bit of botox. Helping the underprivileged and getting my carpets clean. Woohoo.

And, finally,

My dead-sexy husband. Since we've had more time to focus on our family and marriage, I'm falling in love with him all over again. Walking through the toughest decisions of our life has fused our commitment and adoration for one another. He continues to be my hero in every way. What a man of honor and I am truly blessed to have been chosen by him.

Trip to the Zoo!!

2008-08-13T18:41:00.012-05:00

So, we braved the hot hot weather and went to the Fort Worth Zoo today and had a fantastic time! It's half-price day and kids under 3 are free so we're enjoying it before Zoë's birthday in a few weeks.

I like to call this one "Three Little Monkeys"

We've got to work at looking at the camera.

Big elephant.

Little Elephant.

My Happy Boy!

And then, it was time to leave.

An Update!!

2008-08-08T10:53:00.005-05:00

I've realized that a lot of people don't know what's going on in our lives these days so it's time for a brief glimpse into our world. Here goes:

I started working for CareNow on July 11th. I went through 100+ hours of training and had my sign-off last Friday. I work at the clinic off McCart, just two miles from our house, and take patients through the process of checking-in and then check them out when they're done with the doctor. I love my job but am adjusting to working with drama-ridden gossip girls who are single & range in age from 19-22.

Brad just got a job at TCU! He is going to be the Assistant Student Activities Director until December - basically, planning all the Howdy Week, Spirit Week, and other events on campus. He is going to be GREAT at this job and he's really excited about the position.

Zoe is beautiful and more grown-up than ever! She is even dressing herself - both pants and tops! This is what she looks like this morning: top inside out and backwards.

The potty training is going much better and she turns 3 on August 30th. I can hardly believe she's been in our lives for nearly three years (almost four if you count pregnancy)!

Colby has FOUR teeth coming in on top. He's already got the bottom two in front and yesterday I discovered four more crowning his gums. He is cheerful and barely fussy so you'd never know unless you take a look in his mouth. He is eating cheerios, spaghetti-o's, and homemade baby foods like peas, carrots, and mixed veggies with turkey.

Our lives are settling down a little and though it's extremely different than we had expected, we're finding joy again. We're learning the difference between being hopeful and being full of faith. Brad and I have learned something about being on the same team and walking in unity that may have taken years to grasp unless we had walked through this trial. And I now that I work outside the home, I appreciate being with my kids more than ever.

Sometimes things have to be taken away from us to truly realize their value. And sometimes the things God gives us may look and feel like hatred but are a deep expression of His undying love for us.

Potty Talk: An Honest Look at Motherhood

2008-08-02T17:36:00.004-05:00

Being a mother is one of the best things in life. And one of the hardest. From the moment that little bug decides it's time to come out of your uterus, there's pain, pressure, stretching, and lots of embracing the inevitable. There are moments so intense with love and joy, I think heaven has surely come to earth. Then there are moments (or days or weeks) of these reactions, attitudes, and behaviors that have come from the hotter side of after-life.

I love my kids. I mean, there is this surge of fullness in my soul when I think about their faces. Here are a few of the highlights of late:

1. Colby, who has been crawling and might even be close to walking, has discovered toilet paper. No, not the dry kind, off the roll. The used kind, hand-picked out of the toilet, left over from big sister's lack of flushing. Don't worry too much, it's just #1. I hesitated telling my germaphobic husband who made the predicted "EW. AH. UGH." face but then told me the same story the next day. We're training Zoe to close the bathroom door whenever she walks out.

2. We have been potty training since late March, which now makes for more than four months of bathroom runs, wet panties, and pull-ups. We have days where she goes through six pairs - in an hour. I recently couldn't find a single dry, clean pair so we did a lot of laundry and I decided to count just how many pairs she owns. 27. Yep, twenty seven pairs of pink/purple/striped/polka-dotted/you-name-it, we-got-it panties. Victoria's Secret would make millions if they introduced a toddler line.

3. On the road of bathroom mishaps, let me share with you about our dogs. Wednesday morning: I walk into our playroom to a huge pile of dog poo. "Honey, I have to leave for work. Sadie had an accident in the playroom. Love you" were my words walking out the door. Thursday: Again, I'm about to walk out the door when Brad discovers Bailey in her kennel, covered with dog poo. He puts her outside to clean up the mess while Zoe helps by picking up the soiled dog. I leave my sweet husband to pick up the pieces. Bailey peed on our bed later that day, too. Lucky for her, I wasn't home to take her to the pound.

This world is full of mess, chaos, and poo. Our lives are often as pungent as puppy accidents and repulsive as drinking toilet water. I'm so thankful for a God who gets close to our messes and cleans them up for us. I'm grateful, too, that He is patient with me. He perseveres for my love and affection even when I prefer the grosser things in life.

Being a mom is the best thing.

Are We Crazy?

2008-07-18T15:02:00.005-05:00

First, let me say that updating a blog is slightly more difficult than I had predicted. Yes, it's just a matter of writing updates, interesting thoughts, or randomness (the last I am particularly a pro) but when I think of it I either 1. have nothing to say or 2. have too much to say and no where to start. Ah, the dilemmas of internet communication.

So back to the rhetorical question: Are we crazy? (No, I'd rather you didn't answer that question.) We got a dog. I mean another dog. Yes, I have a nearly three-year-old and a nearly seven-month-old and a four year old dog. And yes, I have just started a new job and Brad is starting a new job and our lives are a little turned upside down at the moment. But we got a dog.

Let me rephrase that: we got a puppy.

Most people would look at us, roll their "internal" eyes, and silently think we have been sniffing glue. And there is a corner of my wisdom & education that would completely agree, though I don't even know what kind of glue to sniff. Rubber cement, maybe?

Bayleigh/Bailee/Bailey (we haven't decided on the spelling) may have been a seemingly odd decision to make in the midst of our life circumstance but sometimes when life makes all the decisions for you, it's empowering to make a small decision for yourself. A life-giving, joy-bringing, lower-my-blood-pressure decision that for a few moments each day distracts Brad and me from the disappoints we're facing. She's giving my husband a "job" when he's feeling low about being between careers.

The name Bailey means "a person who manages the affairs for another entity" and in some odd way I think God is teaching us to allow Him to become our Bailey. And though I'm struggling with His "goodness" in our lives, I'm simply making the choice lately to allow him to manage my affairs.

So welcome to our lives, sweet Bailey. Love us faithfully and we'll feed you fully. Just please don't pee on my bed.

Pilot Episode

2008-07-04T12:11:00.002-05:00

I've been thinking about starting a blog for months but have faced a serious roadblock: what creative name can I publish under? I mean, to be really good it's got to have a great title. Something profoundly obvious but obviously profound. "The Life and Times of the Thompsons." Nah, too boring. "The Thompson Four." Ugh, what if we grow?

I was rocking Colby to sleep this morning and singing to lull his sweetness into dreamworld. (Anyone in our house will tell you that I am oddly gifted at coming up with the most random songs at any given moment of the day. To Do: write a Broadway Musical about our life and make millions.) Again, in this moment, wondering about a blog, a title, and my mind began to wander:

The chapters in our lives are like the songs of God. Some of them are deep minors with low notes and words filled with sorrow. Others are upbeat tempos with the melody of joy and brightness because things are "just right." We have refrains that are developed from the character we gain from walking through seasons with certain people or circumstances.

The chapters in my life, my novel, are all because sweet Jesus is writing His story in the grains of my heart & soul. The songs that flow from these places are expressions of thankfulness, sometimes to God and other times to my husband, my kids, my friends.

And so begins an ordinary diary that tells about the extraordinary life that swirls around me. Diapers. Homemade baby food. Marriage bliss. An addiction to Target and an affection for puppies. The memories that slip into my history and the dreams that are at the tips of my fingers. Efficiency. Simplicity. Beauty.

I'm writing another song...

In the nineteenth century, the American classroom was sparsely decorated and furnished. School design was simple, expressing the frugality of a largely rural, agricultural economy. Rural communities had few resources to expend on education, and there was a lack of commercially available products for schools. Often the school would be open only for a few months of the year, usually when children were not needed to work at home or on the farm.
In the one-room schoolhouse sat students of all ages and abilities. The sole teacher was usually an unmarried woman; sometimes the students were older than the teacher. Using only the most basic resources — slate, chalk, and a few books — teaching and learning consisted mainly of literacy, penmanship, arithmetic, and “good manners.” Recitation, drilling, and oral quizzes at the end of the day were the norm in classrooms across America.